When we had our second daughter, my husband and I quickly realized that we needed to continue to spend one on one time with each child to assure that they both felt engaged and important to us. After baby girl number three, we still hold this philosophy, but when the children outnumber the adults, it becomes very hard to attain this goal.

But we still work at it… every day. It is not that we need to make time with each of them big events. We don’t need to take them to an amusement park or to the zoo. But we do need to give each of them a few minutes separately every day. For instance, my husband reads the bedtime story to the four year old every night. That is 15 minutes of dedicated daddy time that she is guaranteed and look forward to.

Other dedicated times might be to sit with the nine year old as she practices her piano, encouraging her and giving her undivided attention. We make puzzles with them, color, dance, let one of them prepare dinner with me or breakfast with Daddy.

We do also take time to make dates with each of them also. Again, it need not be elaborate or expensive, but just some time away from the house and the other sisters. It might be a daddy/daughter movie date or a mommmy/daughter picnic. Really, even when they get to ride in the car without two other screaming kids, they feel much more attended to and special.

The other day, as my nine year old sat on the edge of the tub keeping me company while I scrubbed the floor, she said, “Mommy, I really like this.”

“What?”

“Just sittin’ here talking to you.”

Awww, she filled my heart. But that proves that it really is the little things, those few stole moments here and there that will make the difference in your child’s life and grow that bond that every parents wants with their children. Hey, maybe you can even get them to scrub the toilet while you are talking!