No, no, no… not in the fun way. Don’t get all excited, folks. Now that I have your attention {hehehe} I want to encourage parents to have “the talk” with their children. I feel that too many parents are fooling themselves into thinking that talking with their children about sex is not appropriate at a young age. I beg to differ. Children as young as 10 and 11 years old are having sex. Yes, HAVING… not learning about… not asking about… not curious about… actually having it. There are children 11 and 12 years old who are mothers. No, I’m not kidding. Google it.

No matter how you go about introducing the topic or exactly what information you present to your child(ren), keep in mind three essential things:

1. Be honest.
   • There is nothing worse than purposefully giving your child incorrect information. You may as well not give them any information at all because in the long run, not only are you going to confuse them but you are going to destroy your own credibility.
2. Be thorough.
   • When your child has questions, don’t try to avoid answering them. You don’t have to go into graphic detail, but give them the facts… and don’t speak to them in a way that sends the message that you are uncomfortable with their questions. Children pick up on those simple cues and will be hesitant to bring it up again. You WANT them to be able to talk to you! This way, you are in control of the information they receive and are more able to discredit myths and inaccuracies they may have already heard.
3. Be clear.
   • You may not be able to control what your child does when they are out of your sight. As your children grow into adolescence, they may make decisions that you disapprove of. This should not keep you from being very clear about your expectations as well as your family’s belief system… but don’t stop there! Let them know why you feel the way you feel. Reason with them and give them an argument which validates your wishes.

The more open you are with your child, the higher the chances are that your child will be more open with you. Discuss inappropriate touching. Discuss the ways boys try to take advantage of girls. Discuss how much pressure locker-room talk can put on young boys. Discuss peer pressure and how to stand firm despite it. Discuss confidence and reputation. Open the lines of communication early and they will remain open. Talking to your child is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. You would be amazed at how much of a difference it makes in their lives just to hear you tell them definitively what is right and what is wrong – what is acceptable and what is not. They may shrug it off. They may seem to not want to hear it. But when it counts the most, your words will play in the back of their mind and could give them the strength they need at that critical point when they need to say, “NO!”