Author Archives: Fiona Bryan

Now is the time.

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It never fails. May rolls around and most woman start scrambling to get their workouts in because the dreaded idea of getting into a swim suit is looming over them. They get discouraged and frustrated when they don’t see the results fast enough. Typically for the average person working out consistently (depending on how much they need to lose) it can take 4 weeks to a solid 3 months to see major results and body transformations. Obviously this depends on the person, but the point is it takes time.

“Your body gets used to whatever workout program you are doing in roughly 3-4 weeks, so if you don’t keep changing SOMETHING about your workouts, you may find yourself reaching what’s called a “training plateau” and stop making noticeable progress. Rule of thumb: whenever you start to get a little bored with your routine, it’s time to change things to keep it interesting and varied. If you are not getting the results you want in 6 weeks, its time to make some more dramatic changes!”

-Body Results

This is why this time of the year is the BEST TIME of the year to workout. This is my favorite time to put in the hard work. Yes it can be harder to find the motivation when its cloudy, cold, and raining… but soooo worth it. Nothing is better than busting your butt now whatever way you can. Get in the runs whenever the weather permits and save the workout DVDs when you are holed up in the house. This is what I try to do.

It’s way too easy to not pay attention to your weight when you are covered with the bulky winter clothes. NOW IS THE TIME TO START. It does feel pretty amazing to be able to strip off the sweaters and feel confident about your body. Imagine actually feeling excited to jump in the pool and enjoy the summer time. To not dread bathing suit shopping? It’s a pretty neat feeling.
START NOW.
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One Woman’s Story of Triumph over Tragedy through Crocheting

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martha harrisAfter being hit by a moving car and thrown from her bike while returning home from dinner with her husband, Martha Harris awoke in the emergency room to some harsh realities.  She was told in that moment she may lose her leg by amputation, and though her leg was later saved, Martha was only at the beginning of a long road to recovery.

I stumbled upon the story of Martha Harris in the December 7th, 2009 issue of First For Women magazine.  This article moved me so much that I reached out to her asking if I too could interview her to write an inspirational article to be featured on my blog.  She graciously obliged me.

This story is inspirational because Martha, a young woman, found success and purpose crocheting hats after a tragic and random, near death accident left her wondering if she would walk again.

“Many bones were broken in my body, and I have had 4 separate surgeries to reconstruct my leg, arm and collar bone.”

But shockingly, not so much as a scratch or bruise on her head or back.  Her body required a lengthy healing time, which included lots of therapy and prayers.   However, she did bounce back to her pre-accident self…but with a new perspective on life.

“It was amazing to see all the mercy and love poured out to me by loved ones and strangers alike.  It put more of an urgency in my heart to give back to others that are less fortunate than me.”

modernvirtue hat with buttonsCrocheting as a part of her therapy to soothe and help with hand dexterity, she began creating hats and scarves and before long, people were asking if they could buy them.

“Last Christmas Eve, I was able to go into the slums of Camden NJ to give out hats and winter clothing to the children that lived there.”

Giving away these adorable hats and scarves to needy children gave Martha a great sense of purpose and it became clear, she had found her calling.  Martha even started a crochet circle and charitable group called Crochet for Cause, creating hats for little girls in need living in Camden, New Jersey.

modernvirtue scarfYou can buy her lovely creations at Modern Virtues on Etsy.  10% of all proceeds are donated by Martha to Covenant Mercies, a non-profit organization helping impoverished people locally and globally.  So when you purchase a one-of-a-kind, crocheted hat or scarf you are also helping someone less fortunate and supporting a real stand up gal, whose real-life story should inspire and motivate all of us.

You can contact Martha Harris directly at mlouwright@gmail.com.

If you have a story that you think is inspiring, and want to tell, please contact me here.

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Keeping It Healthy While Traveling For The Holidays

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1105898_vacationThis time of the year, many people spend a lot of time traveling on road trips to see extended family. I know from my own experience that traveling can really throw a monkey wrench into a family’s healthy eating habits. I implement a few simple ideas in our household which helps to keep us away from junk and fast food as well as keeping the anxiety of traveling with children to a minimum.

Get small insulated cooler to travel with. I have a small, soft sided cooler similar to this that I keep right next to me in the front seat. That way I can easily access a snack when little tummies begin to rumble. It is also a great idea to invest in a water bottle for each child to carry a healthy drink along. Our girls’ drink of choice is milk, so I also choose insulated water bottles to keep the milk fresh for a couple of hours.

Pack a selection of snacks for the children to choose from. We pack a variety of healthy food:

Cut vegetables (carrots, cucumbers, celery, etc.)
Small bowl of a dip (hummus work great as it is thick enough not to spill in the car.)
Small cut up sandwiches (can be peanut butter, ham & cheese or some other favorite) It is a good idea to cut into quarters to make easy for little fingers to handle.
Wraps work well for this too. Make some roll ups and cut into child sized pieces.
Granola bars.
Fruit: grapes, apples, orange slices (pre-peel to save a mess in the car).
Crackers, rice cakes, popcorn, pretzels, etc.
Cut cheese

I try to avoid any snack that takes a spoon (yogurt, applesauce, etc) or that might be messy or crumby (muffins, etc.) However, if you will be eating in the car, make sure to keep a large tub of wipes handy for cleanup.

Prepare and pack the cooler a day or 2 ahead of time. All of the foods I listed can be assembled a day ahead to alleviate stress on the actual day of the trip. And, if your children are anything like ours, you will want to make enough of each snack for each child, since what one wants- all others will too.

These tips really aid us in keeping the peace during our long road trips and also keeping us out of convenience stores and fast food restaurants. There are many studies linking convenience store foods to the pediatric obesity epidemic and we all know the downfalls of eating calorie and fat laden fast food. Most people are already lax on their nutrition during the holidays with snacks and desserts, so following these tips will help keep some semblance of a wholesome diet while on the road.

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Sick-day Strategies for Keeping Kids Entertained

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By Ella Brooks for Sniffle Solutions

Sick-day Strategies for Keeping Kids Entertained “Mommy, I don’t feel good.” Sound familiar?

It’s the call of a child who’s stuck in bed with a dreaded cold or flu. It breaks your heart, but there are plenty of things you can do to entertain her until she feels better.

Experts say the best course of action includes activities that are low-key and keep a child busy without wearing her out. “There are lots of great ways to keep children entertained and distracted when they’re home from school with a cold or the flu,” says Dr. Vivian Lennon, a pediatrician and the medical director of primary care at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta.

Here are 11 comforting and clever ways often used by Lennon and moms like you to help kids have fun while they recover.

Symptom Soothers
These strategies help your little ones fight common cold and flu symptoms and keep boredom at bay:

  • Throw a tea party. Serve afternoon tea in bed for your child, her dolls and stuffed animals. Decaffeinated tea with milk and honey is the perfect beverage: The warm liquid soothes a sore throat and eases congestion, and the honey helps kick a cough.
  • Make a splash. Feverish kids often feel better after a bath, so stock the tub with toys: floating animals, cars and boats, and special crayons to draw designs on the sides of the bathtub. A steamy bathroom can also clear out a stuffy nose.
  • Care for a sick stuffed animal. If your child feels very ill, rest is best. Make catching extra z’s more fun by pretending your child’s favorite animal is under the weather too. Tell your daughter that Teddy needs to take a nap so he’ll feel better, and she can tuck him into bed with her.
  • Go camping. Resting is more exciting when it’s in a special spot. Pitch a tent in the living room or make a fort by draping a blanket over a table. Make it a comfy, kid-friendly zone with pillows, blankets, a sleeping bag and a lamp.

Feel-good Projects
Take your kid’s mind off the aches and pains with a crafty creation:

  • Make a sick-day tool kit. Decorate a plastic bin with stickers; then fill it with comic books, Mad Libs, beads and string, crayons, coloring books and more. The lid can double as a lap desk. The catch? This super-fun box only comes out when your little one is sick.
  • Play post office. Remember how your daughter’s teddy bear is feeling under the weather too? Have your child design a colorful get-well card for Teddy while you make one for her. Then be the postman and deliver the mail.
  • Show off. Create cheerful animal puppets together out of paper bags or socks. Then put on a puppet show while your child rests in bed. Does she need a pick-me-up? Focus the plot on an animal that stays home with the flu and then makes a speedy recovery after receiving a card from your child.

Get-well Games
Laughter can sometimes be healing, so here are some ways to put a smile on an ailing child’s face:

  • Play “Sick Simon Says.” Let your child give you silly commands to do for five minutes every hour (“walk like a duck,” “hop on one foot” or “oink like a pig”).
  • Picture this. Make a DIY puzzle: Have your child choose a favorite photo, and print it on 8-by-10 paper. Glue it to a piece of cardboard and then cut out pieces in the shape of a jigsaw puzzle for her to put back together.
  • Have fun with cards. Stock up on card games from the dollar store. Go Fish and other kids’ classics like Crazy 8s and Old Maid are easier than board games to play in bed. Short on cards? Set up a game of memory with photos of family and friends.
  • Keep in touch. When you have chores to do or need a little me-time, give your child a walkie-talkie so she can contact you if she needs anything or feels lonely. Tell her jokes, check in frequently and keep her updated on what you’re doing so she doesn’t feel like she’s missing out on any fun.
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Being Proactive With Issues of Esteem

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soccer_clipart_boyWhen it comes to your child, one of the most important issues you should be concerned with is the way they feel about themselves. To a child, the world is a huge place – a place that, for some, is filled with acceptance and approval; but for others, it is a world of uncertainty which presents judgment and ridicule. While there is nothing you can do to control which world your child lives in, there are a few things you can do to determine how your child responds to the world around them - and how they allow that world to affect and influence them!

There are endless factors that play a role in the atmospheric composition of peers around your child. Keep in mind that children can be cruel – often for absolutely no reason. When a child finds himself or herself on the receiving end of negativity, it can be a hard hit to their self esteem – the way they regard themselves. It can be extremely frustrating for a parent, but there are things you can do to help:

  • Develop a constructive method of correction. When they are being corrected for behavioral problem, avoid questions like, “What is wrong with you?” or comparing them to a sibling or other child. Suggest ways they can avoid disobeying – counting to ten before deciding on an action or reaction so that they are more apt to think about the consequences would be a great start. Above all, always encourage your child by making him/her feel like they are a part of a team – that you are working WITH them to help them be their best because you know they can do it!
  • Do not discipline or chastise when you are upset. We get tired, overwhelmed, and quite frankly worn out with repeating the same thing over and over again. When parental rebuke involves emotion, there is a higher chance of things being said that cannot be taken back. This small moment can damage your child’s esteem for years to come. AVOID speaking to your child when they have greatly upset you. Calm down, then sit down to handle the situation later when you’re able to address it in a more productive manner.
  • If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times! … Many children are not capable of returning to previous tasks when they’ve become sidetracked without reminders. Likewise, a child’s thought process often doesn’t lend itself to reverting back to past lessons when making decisions. Do not tear down your child’s confidence by pointing out this flaw. Help them by finding creative ways to encourage them to think before acting. Their inability to control their forgetfulness in this area may result in feelings of inadequacy and make them believe they aren’t as bright as other kids. Be proactive by helping them to develop better habits which will result in fewer necessary corrections. Encourage them to do things you ask right away so they don’t become distracted. Also, instead of simply telling them the rules, remind them of previous consequences – the most effective are natural consequences, not ones you handed down. Discuss how a certain action resulted in your child – or another child – getting hurt.
  • Tell your child how GREAT he/she is! Many children become victims of themselves… They don’t hold themselves at their value because they don’t hear it enough. Don’t forget to continuously express how proud you are of them, mention things they have accomplished, and always be vocal about things you’ve noticed when they weren’t aware you were watching. This not only says that you care enough to be conscious of their activities, but also inadvertently creates the understanding that you see/know more than they think you do :)
  • Help your child find their talents. Many children begin feeling bad about themselves simply out of jealousy. They notice other children who are great at drawing, sports, singing, etc., and they start to wonder why they can’t do those things as well. Help your child find what they are good at and start developing fun ways to get them involved in those things on a larger scale. When a child is a part of something bigger than themselves, it makes them feel more important and healthier confidence levels mean they are less likely to succumb to peer pressure as they get older.
  • Explain to your child why some children are just naturally vicious. Yes, it’s true. There are those children that are going to pick on others. Often, that child lacks self esteem and confidence and will act out of jealousy to try to destroy those things in his/her peers. It is best for your child that you provide the understanding that ignoring it will often make it go away {if someone can’t get a response, they typically grow bored}. Likewise, make sure they know they can always come talk to you without you getting involved. Children hide things from their parents because they don’t want to be the one who “snitched” and become ridiculed for running to mommy. If your child knows you will work with them to find a solution without stepping in to rescue them, they will be more inclined to bring their problems to you for your perspective.

Two things that are the cornerstone when it comes to a child’s self esteem start at home: love and encouragement. If your child is met with acceptance and approval at home, chances are he/she will interpret things differently when they are out in the world. It is true that perception is reality and if a child is not lacking acceptance and approval or love and encouragement, they will be less likely to seek it out. Security at home cures a multitude of childhood issues, including those of self esteem. Once a child’s esteem is low, it is difficult to build it back up. Be proactive! Teach your child how wonderful he/she is from the very start and give them a lifetime of advantages!

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Your Words Inspire Others

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Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!
Look to this Day!
For it is Life, the very Life of Life.
In its brief course lie all the
Verities and Realities of your Existence.
The Bliss of Growth,
The Glory of Action,
The Splendor of Beauty;
For Yesterday is but a Dream,
And To-morrow is only a Vision;
But To-day well lived makes
Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,
And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.
Look well therefore to this Day!
Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!

- Kalidasa

hope

Have you ever been struck by lightning? Or perhaps fallen in love so fast that when you fall out you’re not sure where or when the time went? Or held your first child in your arms one morning and the next they’re already old enough to hold you? What about heard, read or saw a word that instantly inspired you to take action? Big, bold out-of-the-ordinary action.

Can words do that? Inspire? Do actions really speak louder than words or does the action simply take credit for what the words started?

I say, words not only inspire action, but can persuade, inform, change our perspective and even entice. Words can change lives for the good and for the bad. One act of kindness or hate can change an entire lifetime or inspire a world of hope.

Recently a colleague of mine told me a story. A story about me. A story she heard from a woman she worked with and it was about me. A moment in time that had impacted this woman’s life so greatly that she repeated it to strangers!  It made a difference in her life. A BIG, bold beautiful difference.

“Wait, it involved who?”

That was my first thought! I desperately wanted to remember and really understand why this moment mattered to this woman almost fifteen years later!

So the basic story goes like this:  We were in English class and each of us was asked to read some text aloud. No big deal, right? Well for some of us no, but for others who had only just learned the English language it was an entirely different story.  It came to be her turn to read aloud and she began to struggle with the pronunciation of a word or two. Apparently I realized this and simply leaned over and whispered the correct pronunciation to her.  End of story.

That’s it?

For me, yes. (Until now).

For her, no.

Such a simple gesture.  So quick, so long ago but still fresh in her mind. Words that impacted her life so greatly that her gratitude shines. She shines. I like to think that at that moment she realized she was welcome at our school. Welcome here in America. Welcome to speak her mind freely without consequence. Free to speak and inspire and create action!

I wish that I could remember.

Truth be told, I don’t. Not that moment, not a lot about high school in general. But I wish I did. I wish I could look her in the eye and say that I remember.  I wish I could bottle that moment and inspire others to have more patience and tolerance and kindness.  My colleague said that she told me the story so I could tell my children.  I did and I thank her for helping me to remember to teach simple acts of humanity and humility by reminding me to show my children what compassion is and how words can not only hurt, but heal.

Do words inspire action? Without a doubt. Words inspire a lot of things. Words inspire forgiveness. Words inspire giving.  Words inspire others.

Actions may speak louder than words, but words, words are the ever changing syllables of our mind and heart.

Lately I’ve been inspired to get healthy, lose weight and inspire my family to eat better and exercise more.  This didn’t happen overnight but I was struck by an amazing group of women on twitter who amaze me every day with their wit, strength and guidance. Just a few 140 word sentences have helped me to begin my journey of wellness and self discovery. A lifetime of action inspired by just words.

Let lightning strike. Let your words inspire action each and every day. Put your words into plans and put your plans to work.

“Never confuse motion with action.” – Benjamin Franklin

Don’t just go through the motions of life. Smile and share and breathe in the beauty of a new day. Embrace your children, count your blessings and don’t ever let a day go by without saying these words: “I love you”. Find the words that create change. Find the words that inspire action in your family’s life that will make a difference. Believe that not only is someone out there looking for exactly what you have to offer but are waiting for you to find it and that when you meet, magic will happen or already has.

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5 Things You Should Do BEFORE Getting Pregnant

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Pregnant? Or planning on getting pregnant soon?

If so, there are 5 health and body musts that you should put into practice now!  Why? Because the key is to be proactive, which often times is A LOT easier than being reactive, especially when we’re talking about matters of the body.  Of course, every woman’s health and body varies, so the same practice won’t always yield the same results, but a little effort can still go a long way.

Below are the 5 things you should do for your health and body before getting pregnant.  It’s also important to continue most of these suggestions even after child birth, as healthy practices will continue to make you look and feel better.

1.)    Establish and maintain good fertility and pre-baby health. What does that mean? To sum up…No smoking, drinking, drugs, prescription drugs (unless advised by doc), stress, herbs, caffeine, artificial sweeteners, hazardous chemicals.  Also maintain healthy body weight, good nutrition and regular doctor appointments.  For a great article and detailed list on this, go to American Pregnancy Association.

2.)    Start a Nutritious Diet. Blah, blah, blah…we all know this one but yet many of us fall short anyway. Why? Well, that’s for another time and another post.  Here we’re only addressing the what. So what is a pre-preggers nutritious diet?  Prenatal vitamins, folic acid, vitamin C, dark leafy greens (ie-spinach) orange veggies (ie-squash, apricots), legumes (beans), proteins, whole grains (oatmeal), calcium (yogurt) and iron (meat, veggies).  And stop eating all that fast food! (do you really need a reason?).  If you want to learn more about nutritious foods in greater detail, read this informative article at American Pregnancy Association.

3.)    Cardio 3x per week. This can be low impact like walking if you’re just starting out…you don’t have to run marathons to get into shape.  Some good cardio exercises include running, brisk walking (walking your dog), dancing (belly dancing & strip tease are popular and good for the bod), jumping rope, mini trampoline (supposed to be better than running) and weighted hula hoop (awesome for the mid-section).  You should do cardio at least 30 minutes, 3x per week.  Remember-ALWAYS consult with your doctor before beginning a cardio routine.

4.)    Tone your Transverse Abdominals. This one is VERY important before getting pregnant!  To quote from Pregnancyinfo.net, your transverse abdominals, “are the deepest lying abdominal muscles that basically act as a girdle to your entire middle section.” Working these babies are the key to a flatter tummy.  Strengthening these muscles will help with labor and regaining your pre-baby belly.  If you want specific exercises to work your Transverse abdominal muscles, visit this article at Pregnancyinfo.net.

5.)    DO YOUR KEGELS!!! I saved the best for last with this one.  Stop snickering…you won’t be later.  Kegel exercises, named after a doctor in the 1940’s, are exercises that work your pelvic floor muscles, affecting your bladder, uterus and rectum.  Most importantly though, they help squeeze “the area”, tighter.  You can certainly wait to do this after until after child birth, once everything has been stretched. Or you can do this now, and really get those muscles strong so that they bounce back faster. It’s really quite a simple exercise and can be done in your car, cubicle, while chattin’ on the phone, ect.  To learn how to do a Kegel exercise, click on Pregnancyinfo.net.

So put away that double espresso and double chocolate muffin from Starbucks (so good!), because you’re starting a new and exciting journey, and it’s gonna take some hard work and discipline…but surely will pay off in the end, ask any new mama.

And if you are newly expecting and looking to share some laughs and candid talk with someone in your shoes, check out this future mama!

* Please note that all diet and exercise suggestions in this article are directed to woman pre and post pregnancy. If you are pregnant, please consult with your doctor before trying any suggestions here.  This is not medical advice. So always consult with your doctor first.


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Passing of the Holiday Tiara

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tiaraIt is that time of year again.

Just like clockwork.

Sleigh bells ringing, Holiday cheer, Santa’s little helpers, lighting of the Menorah, a time of good will towards all…

SCREEETCH!!!

Flash that RED nose Rudolph!

This single handedly has to be the MOST stressful time of year – for anyone!  (Unless of course you are the Easter Bunny, a Leprechaun, or the Tooth Fairy….oh that’s right you are.)

Case and Point…

The Holiday’s arrive, no matter what holiday you celebrate or decline to participate in – they fashionably come storming in like Brüno in Funkyzeit.

There you are, standing in the kitchen with your wife or husband, contemplating the upcoming catastrophic events bound to happen over the next eight weeks.  What are we doing for Thanksgiving?  Who’s hosting Hanukkah?  Where are we flying for Christmas?  Is there enough alcohol to make it to New Years?  Silently, the two of you raid the left over Halloween candy stashed in the back of the cupboard staring vicariously into each others eyes.

Now that you have asked these questions….fast forward to the ‘implied’.

Why didn’t you already know?  YOU are supposed to host Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Years!

Not too mention, both sides of the family are coming to town and staying three whole bloody eggnog sucking weeks!  Along with Cousin Mary, Uncle George, your sister’s new fling of the month and your neighbors are heading out of town so they asked you to watch their pesky animals! *bark* *bark* *meeeeow*

Quick…start pricing airfares, hotels, rent-a-cars – we are escaping the madness!

Wrong…

Reality…

You are married now.  You have spent a wonderful decade together, enjoying the perks of hand selecting which Holiday’s you will partake, where you want to go, and who you want to visit.  The winds of change are upon us.  It is your turn.  You have the child(ren).  The Holiday traditions are now your responsibility.  Parents of both sides are retired.  Everyone else is gallivanting across the world in joyous excursions.  No one gives a flying hoot that you both work full-time, both attend Uni. at night to finish your Masters Degrees, raise a toddler (of which the three’s are Chucky’s revenge!), and have absolutely no life whatsoever!

You need to slave in the kitchen preparing a 7 course meal, host the holiday extravaganza’s, catering to everyone’s lasting want and need.  It is YOUR turn kiddo!

At least that’s how my mother has implied this year’s holiday events….

The Holiday Tiara has been ever so BLUNTLY tossed into the hands of the Mrs. by a majority Mom rule – that is politely insinuated – EVERY holiday gathering is now her responsibility.

SCREEETCH!!!

Back that sleigh Santa!

Who says you must spend each and every waking holiday minute as one big drunken family mess?

Seriously, as I have stated to both sides of the family, “I married my wife, not all of you!”

Nor do I expect the Mrs. to be slaving away her Holiday time in a freaking hot stuffy kitchen, while everyone else gets smashed blabbing on and on….”when you were a child…..I remember when…..So and So did….”

I’m still pricing those tickets to Breckenridge, London, the middle of nowhere for Christmas!

Concluding, the Mrs. and I had this realization moment the other morning, the Tiara is now in her court.  Which undoubtedly means….my mother handed her over the matriarch title of the family.

I told you….she’s the BOSS!!

*SCORE!*

Peas Out!

~daddy b.

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5 Reasons You Can’t Be a Stay-At-Home Mom

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The choice to stay home is not always an easy one to make.  Moms face a variety of concerns when determining what the best choice for their family is.  These issues weigh heavily on our minds and are worthy of discussion.  Let’s explore 5 of the most common reasons women say they can’t stay at home….

1. My household depends on both incomes.
It’s true. It probably does, these days. The cost of living has greatly increased since women have largely stopped being stay at home moms. Have you sat down, and looked at all of your expenses? If you really analyze it, you might see many areas that can be changed or cut out completely.
Do you really need premium cable? Seriously, non-cable television networks have really juiced it up…there’s no reason to pay for profanity or nudity anymore.
Downsize to one car, do your own gardening, get rid of that gym membership you haven’t used since the “Rachel” haircut was popular, stop eating out, etc. You get the idea here.

2. I need to work to keep the health insurance.
Well, if that’s the case, you have some options. Ask your hubby to talk with his boss or human resources department. Perhaps his plan can cover dependants, see what can be worked out. It never hurts to ask. If that’s not an option, look into individual health plans, more and more are becoming pretty affordable, and there are many options out there.
Take a look at the Health Insurance Resource Center , they offer comprehensive consumer info on health insurance for any state. If you’re pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant, check out the American Pregnancy Association for affordable healthcare.

3. I don’t have the resources or know-how to start a home business.
Yes you do. You just think you don’t. It really only takes drive, hard work and a little motivation, and maybe a good idea or two. There are so many profitable business ideas that require little to no start up costs.
What are your talents and or hobbies? Really think about it. We all have something that we can do, that others cannot. Are you creative? Start an Etsy business, sell on EBay, be a virtual assistant, dog-walker, party-planner, blogger…the list is infinite, just do a little research.

Or you can become a work-at-home-mom by convincing your boss that you are the be-all, end-all of your position and it would be in the best interest of the company if you did your magic…from home.

4. I worked hard to get where I am.
And? So what. Being the most important person ever, to the peeps in your home is sooo much more important and gratifying. Need I say more?

5. I Would Be Bored.
Oh right, like work isn’t a total yawn-fest most of the time. Let’s face it, life just isn’t that exciting all the time. I’m sure your kiddos wouldn’t find you boring, nor your hubby, when he walks through the door each night to a warm and happy home filled with love, because you make it that way.

You have a lot to think about, take the time to think it through and sit down with your spouse to figure it all out. Remember though, when you do what’s best for you and your family, everything else will work itself out.

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Helping Kids Process Their Anger

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Children often have a difficult time knowing how to appropriately process their emotions. When that emotion happens to be anger, it can be additionally frustrating for parents and other caregivers. If you feel your child has become increasingly angry, reevaluate the way your family has addressed emotional expression. There may be underlying issues that have contributed to their apparent instability. Here are some tips to help you as you work to help your child process their anger in a healthy manner:

1.    The level of understanding and security provided to them could prove to be the single most important factor influencing your child’s behavioral patterns in relation to their emotional state. Parents often fail to realize how overwhelmed their child is by feelings of anger until they actually begin to act out their emotions. This can be especially detrimental to the development of a child’s ability to process their emotions since no attention is given to what they are facing. This is why security is so important.

  • When a child is secure and comfortable, knowing the lines of communication are undoubtedly and indefinitely open between themselves and their parents, they are much more likely to express what is on their mind. I’ve noticed over the years that some parents become uncomfortable when their children reflect their negative emotions in their behavior and they tend to suppress those behaviors without dealing with the emotions behind them. This is absolutely the worst thing you can do to your child’s emotional development. Never minimize what your child feels. Conditioning them to ignore their own feelings will eventually result in feelings of emotional detachment and as they mature, they will become unable to make true emotional connections.

2.    Try to find an effective means of discussing problems with your child, and learn to be empathetic. You may not fully agree with them or understand why they feel a certain way, but you should still validate their feelings and let them know that you would like to help them work through their anger.

  • Be patient! Consistence is the age-old rule to dealing with a number of childhood issues. It is the most important aspect of parenting – from discipline to training, and especially when helping them process their anger! Be patient with them, and whatever methods you find to work for your child, stick to them.
  • Pay attention! The worst thing you can do to a child is devalue them in their time of need. Your undivided attention is an invaluable asset to you in assisting your child in developing an appropriate mechanism for coping with their anger. Most importantly, knowing that they can count on you for support in the minute they require it is going to significantly decrease their frustration.

3.    Don’t force them to articulate their feelings. Some children find it difficult to put into words what they are feeling. When you pressure them to find a way to make you understand, you add to their feelings of inadequacy when they fail to reach this expectation. Encourage them to talk to you – let them know you are there when they are ready, but give them the authority over when it’s time to say, “Ok, I’m ready to talk.”

4.    Help them figure out what is mostly triggering their anger as well as simple ways to create emotional self-diversion. Is there something in particular that causes your child to feel angry? Can your child possibly identify other emotions that lead up to their anger creeping up?

  • Would it be possible for your child to keep a small notepad to write down specific situations that caused them to become angry and/or details about other feelings they had prior to anger? Often loneliness, embarrassment, frustration, feelings of inadequacy or insecurity are among the multitude of underlying issues that could lead to uncontrollable anger.

5.    DO NOT allow a child to dictate how things operate in your home. Often, when a child realizes their parents are concerned about them, they will use the situation to manipulate household rules and play on the heartstrings of their parents – often even turning one against the other – in order to get their way. No matter how difficult it may be, you should maintain consistency in responsibility, standards, and discipline. Likewise, your reaction to their angry behavior – even as it escalates – should be consistently calm. If you lose your cool, you set a poor example of self-control and further damage their ability to make sense of their own response to their emotions.
Above all, learn your child! Be sensitive to the cues you receive from their subtle statements and behaviors. You are their best advocate… and their strongest hope for learning to process their anger and other potentially unhealthy emotions. PARENTS make the biggest difference in the lives of their children. Helping them develop healthy habits now will make the roller coaster ride of adolescence a little bit less confusing – for them, anyway! :)

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