We will livestream our MomTV special Primrose Schools, Mommy & Me on Sunday June 27th from 2-4pm Mountain Time (4-6pm EST).

*I was not compensated for this post, however I will be compensated for my time broadcasting this live event.

I can look back at my overnight summer camp experiences as some of the most memorable and enriching times in my life.  I have kept in touch with many camp friends over the years and even communicate with a number of them on Facebook.  I even roomed with one of my best camp friends, Julia, at boarding school when we were juniors in high school.  We met up last winter and even although it had been 20 years since we’d graduated, it was as if no time had passed. It was with Julia that I learned that a sailboat really could tip right over if you turned too sharp… and that rope burn really hurts.  I learned about making my bed with hospital corners, and that you could actually get dressed while still in bed on cold Maine mornings.

My children are 10,7 and 5 years old and I’ve started to explore the possibility of sending them to an overnight camp.  I get a bit nervous as I’m sure most parents do, but I also know that camps provide structured and supervised opportunities for independence and discovery, things that children need in order grow into the responsible teens and adults that we all hope they will become.  My kids have much less freedom to explore, here in the city, than I ever did growing up on 11 acres in New Hampshire. We spend most every weekend in the mountains but I know that a camp experience will be an important part of their education and development.

MomActive Live program on MomTV.com Wednesday at 10pm ET will be dedicated to highlighting the value of an overnight camp experience.  We’ll discuss the different concerns parents have and address such things as cost, types of camp, and size, among other things.  I’ve been corresponding with Ariella Randle Rogge Assistant Director/Program Director Sanborn Western Camps at High Trails Ranch and she has been gracious enough arrange for Mike MacDonald, director of Big Spring Ranch for Boys, and Julie Richardson, director of High Trails Ranch for Girls, to be guests on Wednesday nights program.  This will be an amazing opportunity to ask your questions and to learn about the planning and consideration that goes into your child’s summer camp experience at an American Camp Association accredited camp.  The chat room will be open and we’ll be monitoring it in order to address all of your questions.

Come Join the conversation with @banteringblonde on TheBlogFrog community.

or Leave a comment here and tell us a little bit about your favorite camp memories.  Will you, or do you, send your kids to an overnight camp?  Why or why not?

No, no, no… not in the fun way. Don’t get all excited, folks. Now that I have your attention {hehehe} I want to encourage parents to have “the talk” with their children. I feel that too many parents are fooling themselves into thinking that talking with their children about sex is not appropriate at a young age. I beg to differ. Children as young as 10 and 11 years old are having sex. Yes, HAVING… not learning about… not asking about… not curious about… actually having it. There are children 11 and 12 years old who are mothers. No, I’m not kidding. Google it.

No matter how you go about introducing the topic or exactly what information you present to your child(ren), keep in mind three essential things:

1. Be honest.
   • There is nothing worse than purposefully giving your child incorrect information. You may as well not give them any information at all because in the long run, not only are you going to confuse them but you are going to destroy your own credibility.
2. Be thorough.
   • When your child has questions, don’t try to avoid answering them. You don’t have to go into graphic detail, but give them the facts… and don’t speak to them in a way that sends the message that you are uncomfortable with their questions. Children pick up on those simple cues and will be hesitant to bring it up again. You WANT them to be able to talk to you! This way, you are in control of the information they receive and are more able to discredit myths and inaccuracies they may have already heard.
3. Be clear.
   • You may not be able to control what your child does when they are out of your sight. As your children grow into adolescence, they may make decisions that you disapprove of. This should not keep you from being very clear about your expectations as well as your family’s belief system… but don’t stop there! Let them know why you feel the way you feel. Reason with them and give them an argument which validates your wishes.

The more open you are with your child, the higher the chances are that your child will be more open with you. Discuss inappropriate touching. Discuss the ways boys try to take advantage of girls. Discuss how much pressure locker-room talk can put on young boys. Discuss peer pressure and how to stand firm despite it. Discuss confidence and reputation. Open the lines of communication early and they will remain open. Talking to your child is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. You would be amazed at how much of a difference it makes in their lives just to hear you tell them definitively what is right and what is wrong – what is acceptable and what is not. They may shrug it off. They may seem to not want to hear it. But when it counts the most, your words will play in the back of their mind and could give them the strength they need at that critical point when they need to say, “NO!”

When we had our second daughter, my husband and I quickly realized that we needed to continue to spend one on one time with each child to assure that they both felt engaged and important to us. After baby girl number three, we still hold this philosophy, but when the children outnumber the adults, it becomes very hard to attain this goal.

But we still work at it… every day. It is not that we need to make time with each of them big events. We don’t need to take them to an amusement park or to the zoo. But we do need to give each of them a few minutes separately every day. For instance, my husband reads the bedtime story to the four year old every night. That is 15 minutes of dedicated daddy time that she is guaranteed and look forward to.

Other dedicated times might be to sit with the nine year old as she practices her piano, encouraging her and giving her undivided attention. We make puzzles with them, color, dance, let one of them prepare dinner with me or breakfast with Daddy.

We do also take time to make dates with each of them also. Again, it need not be elaborate or expensive, but just some time away from the house and the other sisters. It might be a daddy/daughter movie date or a mommmy/daughter picnic. Really, even when they get to ride in the car without two other screaming kids, they feel much more attended to and special.

The other day, as my nine year old sat on the edge of the tub keeping me company while I scrubbed the floor, she said, “Mommy, I really like this.”

“What?”

“Just sittin’ here talking to you.”

Awww, she filled my heart. But that proves that it really is the little things, those few stole moments here and there that will make the difference in your child’s life and grow that bond that every parents wants with their children. Hey, maybe you can even get them to scrub the toilet while you are talking!

Last week, I wrote about my need to find balance again in life. This week’s post will focus on how to achieve that.

Once I realized that things were out of control, I began making an action plan to regain it. But in order to create this plan, I had to better understand what needed to change. Here are a list of questions I found helpful that you may consider asking yourself:

Children:
When you spend time with your kids, is it truly quality time? Are you there physically, but somewhere else mentally? By establishing special play times when you can give them your full attention, this might help them feel like they are being paid attention to instead of being in the way.  Our kids are very good at knowing when we want to spend time with them versus when we have to spend time with them. If you are a stay-at-home mom, do you find that you feel like being with the kids all day is a drag sometimes? Try and remind yourself why you became a mother and encourage yourself not to get swept up in the stresses.

Spouse/Significant Other
Do you set a standard date night at least once a month? Is there one night a week to truly catch up, spend time together, and enjoy each other’s company? Do you take a second once in awhile to remember just why you married him/her? All of these things get easily pushed aside and instantly have an effect on your relationship. The truth is that this relationship is the most important to maintain/nourish because it sets the tone for the family and an example for your kids.

Work
Do you bring your outside work home with you? Do you let your work-at-home tasks take over your mind, making you unable to do much else when you’re in the house? Do you try to multi-task all the time, therefore keeping you from doing any one thing well? If you’re like me, you find yourself trying to get work (in my case, blogging) done on and off all day long. Unfortunately, this is the first thing that throws my life out of balance because it spills over onto so many other important tasks, such as spending time with family.  Try and create a specific time for work tasks and stick to it.

Mommy Time
Do you carve out at least an hour or two a week to exercise, de-stress, or meditate? Do you have hobbies that encourage relaxation or fun outside of the family? Are you desperate to create time that is spent focusing only on you? What other tasks during the week can be moved down on the list in order to make this happen? We need to remember that even though everything else feels more important, if we aren’t feeling whole, this will negatively effect every other area of the family/life.

Action Plan
Use the above questions to brainstorm what needs to change in order to regain balance. By exploring them, you may find things are not as chaotic as you thought or you may realize that an action plan is way overdue. If it’s helpful, write your action plan out with specific steps on how you are going achieve these changes. Set a realistic timeframe and reassess often.

And once you’ve achieved balance in life again, look back and acknowledge all of the hard work you’ve done to get there!

You can read more of my thoughts on balancing motherhood and other random ramblings at The (Un)Experienced Mom.

Today MomActive takes you on a special tour of Denver, Colorado via Trekaroo’s KidsMobile!  If you’ve never been to the Mile High City you’ll want to put it on your list of places to visit with your families.  Our city is beautiful, healthy, and just a short trek to the snowy mountains and world class ski resorts.

As soon as a germ enters our house, I always wonder, “Which one of us is next?!” I put multiple sanitizers around the house, I follow the germ-ee with a tissue, I bark at everyone,”Wash your hands!” “Cough into your elbow!” I use sanitizing wipes on everything, I try to minimize the damage. Because I’m in charge of the “damage control.”

And inevitably, I get it. Which makes sense. I’m the primary caretaker and I’m (almost) ok with being the fall guy. In fact, I claim victory if the son who brings it into the house from school and I are the only ones who get sick.

Since the preschool years have begun, we’ve gotten all of the colds and flus (except for the swine flu — not yet, anyway!) We’ve also been lucky to avoid that stomach one. You know the one.

Until this year.

And it.was.evil. Truly evil. I have heard how evil that stomach flu is and there truly are no words for just how evil that one is. There is only one man left standing and it’s my husband who never seems to catch anything that levels the rest of us. Lucky.

So after the dust settles, did you know that the evil germ still lurks everywhere? Of course you do, you’re a mom! It’s in the couch. It’s in the blankets. It’s in the towels you used. It’s in the carpet, on the toys, on the surfaces, it’s everywhere!

So here are some ways to avoid getting sick again, and also to avoid spreading it to your visitors.

• First, try to make sure whoever is sick stays in one area of the house while they’re sick so it’s easier to clean up if things get messy. Also, other family members can avoid that area. Bonus if there’s a second bathroom for that person to use.
• Take all the garbage out and sanitize the garbage can with bleach diluted with water.
• Clean all linens, sheets and towels that were used by washing them on the “hot” or “sanitize” cyle of the washing machine.
• Sanitize any and all surfaces that may have come in contact with the sick person with sanitizing wipes or a bleach and water solution. You can also use Lysol spray on light switches, door knobs, remotes, phones, almost anywhere. Go crazy with it. I do!
• Sanitize the bathroom, from the toilet to the floors and the faucets. Don’t forget the toilet bowl handle!
• Shampoo the carpets and/or upholstery.
• Vaccuum.
• Bleach the toys. If you can limit the number of toys the sick child/children are playing with, all the better! If not, grab a bucket, pour one or two teaspoons of bleach per gallon of water into it, and put as many toys as you can that will survive this type of washing in it. Repeat. The ones that won’t survive, like the motorized toys, spray with Lysol. You can also wash stuffed animals in the washing machine. I personally have a “survivor” policy with stuffed animals. If they “survive” the washing machine and the dryer, then they get to stay. We have too many stuffed animals anyway.
• Wash hands all the time. Everyone.
• Buy an air purifier.

The best case scenario here is that everyone stays stomach-flu-free this season! We weren’t so lucky, but we hope we’re in the clear now! Stay healthy!

I’ve recently noticed that my life has become unbalanced and I desperately need to regain it. The good thing is that I am pretty sure that I am not alone in this thought. The bad thing is that there is no equation that tells us exactly how to achieve balance. This two-part series will touch on what we need to consider and how we can find our way back to a better-balanced lifestyle.

What are the areas in life we need to balance?

Children
Being a mom means being “on” 100% of the time. Even if we aren’t physically with the kids, we are with them mentally, so it’s no wonder we are exhausted much of the time. And it’s no wonder that we find it hard to fit much else in. Especially when you are a stay-at-home mom, you start to feel like all you ever do is spend time with your kids. So how do we find time for our kids without ignoring the time we need for our own wants and needs?

Spouses/Significant Other
This relationship is the first to become unbalanced. Since the children need so much of our attention and time, that tends to eat into the time we used to set aside for our spouse. Evening cuddle time turns into “Since we’re so tired, let’s just go to bed” or, if you still have little kids, “I’ll see you after I feed the baby and put him to sleep” (by which time, you’re both too tired anyhow). So how do we put this relationship higher on our priority list when there are so many things already so high on the list?

Work
Whether this is working outside or inside of the home, or working on your hobby, blogging, this is one of the toughest areas to find time for. Since I started blogging, I have found that it can take up a lot of time. And with only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week, the time I set aside for blogging often overlaps other tasks. Unfortunately, if our work is at home, it’s very hard to balance spending time with kids and actually achieving something work-related. If you’re like me, you find yourself working on things in 5-minute increments, which means it takes forever to finish something. So how do we carve out time to be productive, even if we only have short periods of time in which to work?

Mommy Time
This is the thing that often gets pushed to the very bottom of the list; so far down that you have to squint to see it. However, many moms claim that if they get a little bit of personal time weekly, they are much happier moms, which in turn means for a happier family. Whether it’s working out, spending time with friends, reading a book, or something else you enjoy, finding our own personal time needs to be more of a priority. So how do we find even a small chunk of time for this when we are already overscheduled in our lives?

The 2nd part in this series will look at what questions we need to ask ourselves in order to create an action plan to get back to a balanced life.

You can find more of my thoughts on the difficult task of balancing motherhood at my blog, The (Un)Experienced Mom.

Healthy children are healthy because of the practices of their parents. However, healthy children don’t always grow into healthy adults. As humans, we are creatures of habit… Emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, and physical health all tie into the development of healthy habits. Many parents tend to do so much for their children that they inadvertently prevent their children from developing good habits themselves.

As parents, personally living a life full of healthy habits is essential because our children learn a great deal from watching us – example is a major educator for children! To take the example we set and transform it into a course of action habitually executed by our kids requires conditioning them to make good decisions regarding things that directly influence or affect their health. Here are a few tips to aid you in assisting your child in developing health-conscious habits:

1. Rather than providing only healthy options to your children, start presenting them with several options and allowing them to choose for themselves. If they make an unhealthy selection, explain to them why the alternative is better for them. This helps them to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy as well as why making good choices for themselves is important.
2. Purposely set good examples for them. Go out of your way to ensure that they actually see you make healthy decisions. This will provide you with a great point of reference for discussions with your child later.
3. Don’t make a huge deal about it when your child doesn’t make good decisions unless the situation warrants a major scene {like if your child exhibits actions that could potentially be detrimental to themselves or someone else}. However, go overboard with kudos when they make the right choices. Getting much more attention when they do something positive encourages them to continue doing so.
4. Be sure to recognize things they may not even think about. When they react calmly to a situation that you know upset them, let your children know you noticed how well they processed their emotions. Make them proud to possess a high level of emotional strength! If they choose a banana over a piece of chocolate… or commend them for remembering each night to say their prayers on their own… Give them subtle encouragement to continue doing things to develop positive habits which contribute to their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

Comment and let us know:

What ways do YOU help your children develop healthy habits they will carry throughout their lives?

Sitting down to a dinner with the entire family is a great way to stay connected with your children (and also a way for siblings to keep in touch with each other). There are a few strategies that I follow with my three children to keep things fun and stress free:

Stop the short order cook syndrome. It might have been easy to acquiesce to a picky eater with one child, but once they get older or you add more kids to the mix, you are setting yourself up for many an evening spent on too much preparing and not enough enjoying dinner. Make one dinner (maybe allow for slight variations like a red and a white sauce served with the pasta) and serve it all at once to all family members. Everyone may not like everything, but they can just eat more of a different course to fill up.

Keep it positive. We used to do the ‘Best/Worst’ game where we all said the best and worst parts of our day, but I found that we spend a lot of time complaining and not focusing on the positive. Who wants to sit around the dinner table and listen to how awful everyone’s day was? Not me.

Get some conversation starters. There are many different variations like cards or books, but the premise is to ask an interesting question which will get conversation flowing. We have a variety of these in our house and our daughters love them, we actually end up at the table long after dinner ends once we bring them out. There are a variety of question you can find online as well just by searching for ‘Family Conversation Starters’. There is a great document here.

If it is entirely impossible to eat dinner as a family due to activities/work/school functions, then gather everyone to eat breakfast together.

It is proven that children who eat together as a family eat healthier, are less likely to be overweight, less likely to use drugs and alcohol and do better in school. It is just a great habit to start now that will keep your family close and create memories to last a lifetime.

The Holiday’s are stressful enough.

Between dealing with family rifts, sniveling with neighbors over your mooning Santa on the rooftop, or debating how much you really want to spend on gifts for everyone – there is always something ridiculous to deal with.

How about sitting back and taking it all in for once.

Seriously, do you recall seeing your child’s facial expression while?

• Turning on the Christmas lights for the first, second, or third time?

• Playing with the icky sticky cookie dough and dumping an excessive amount of sprinkles on those sugar cookies?

• Lighting the Menorah during Hanukkah?

• Waiting in line forever to sit on Santa’s lap?

• Building a snowman during the first snowfall of the season?

• Singing carols even if you do not know the words, while sipping on hot cocoa or apple cider?

• Opening up presents EARLY Christmas morning?

• Watching them interact with their grandparents – 10 to 20 times their age?

The list could go on and on…

Put the credit cards away, set the camcorders aside.  Be involved.  Be around.  Be active!

The moments you remember now, they will cherish at your age.

Peas Out!

~daddy b.

No matter the age of your child, one of the major components of healthy parenting is BALANCE. You can give allllll the positive reinforcement in the world, but if negative behavior is not met with appropriate consequential action, your child is never going to become a disciplined individual. The goal is to help your child develop self discipline so that they are proactively making good decisions on the front end without your intervention. In order to do this, you must first reprimand them when they make bad decisions. Don’t just stop at rebuke, however. You should always combine whatever punishment is necessary with an explanation as to not only exactly WHAT your child did wrong, but WHY that was not the right action to take. Some things may seem as though common sense should serve as proper explanation, but not when it comes to children. They need to hear it… and they need to hear it repeatedly.

Consistency is a key factor which decides whether or not your discipline strategies are going to be successful or not. If you are consistent, chances are that even if your techniques are flawed you will still have a much stronger impact on your child’s behavior than someone who practices fly-by-night disciplinary action simply because your child at least knows without a doubt that SOME action will take place when they mess up. The moment your child figures out that all you are going to do is threaten them with actions that are never carried out, your authority in their life becomes null and void. Unless your child just reaaaaallly wants to mind you { … LOL … } then you can kiss any control you had over them goodbye at this point. If you tell your child they will be grounded, get put in time out, or receive a spanking if they repeat such-and-such behavior, you should NEVER fail to enforce the consequences assigned to that behavior.

Children may rebel against you. They may act angry. They will likely be resentful. Parents are easily manipulated when children play on their emotions. Remember that your child needs you to be the authority in their life. They have friends – you should not compromise your role as their parent by trying to fit into the role of being their friend. When it’s all said and done, sacrificing that moment of friendly tolerance is going to instill priceless values in them and is going to save them from a great deal of bad experiences in the future. Above all, discipline should always be done out of love - not frustration and CERTAINLY not anger. You’re enforcing consequences for their benefit, so that they grow up to be productive contributors to society and so that they are afforded every possible opportunity in life to reach their highest goals.

What are YOUR best discipline tips?

This time of the year, many people spend a lot of time traveling on road trips to see extended family. I know from my own experience that traveling can really throw a monkey wrench into a family’s healthy eating habits. I implement a few simple ideas in our household which helps to keep us away from junk and fast food as well as keeping the anxiety of traveling with children to a minimum.

Get small insulated cooler to travel with. I have a small, soft sided cooler similar to this that I keep right next to me in the front seat. That way I can easily access a snack when little tummies begin to rumble. It is also a great idea to invest in a water bottle for each child to carry a healthy drink along. Our girls’ drink of choice is milk, so I also choose insulated water bottles to keep the milk fresh for a couple of hours.

Pack a selection of snacks for the children to choose from. We pack a variety of healthy food:

Cut vegetables (carrots, cucumbers, celery, etc.)
Small bowl of a dip (hummus work great as it is thick enough not to spill in the car.)
Small cut up sandwiches (can be peanut butter, ham & cheese or some other favorite) It is a good idea to cut into quarters to make easy for little fingers to handle.
Wraps work well for this too. Make some roll ups and cut into child sized pieces.
Granola bars.
Fruit: grapes, apples, orange slices (pre-peel to save a mess in the car).
Crackers, rice cakes, popcorn, pretzels, etc.
Cut cheese

I try to avoid any snack that takes a spoon (yogurt, applesauce, etc) or that might be messy or crumby (muffins, etc.) However, if you will be eating in the car, make sure to keep a large tub of wipes handy for cleanup.

Prepare and pack the cooler a day or 2 ahead of time. All of the foods I listed can be assembled a day ahead to alleviate stress on the actual day of the trip. And, if your children are anything like ours, you will want to make enough of each snack for each child, since what one wants- all others will too.

These tips really aid us in keeping the peace during our long road trips and also keeping us out of convenience stores and fast food restaurants. There are many studies linking convenience store foods to the pediatric obesity epidemic and we all know the downfalls of eating calorie and fat laden fast food. Most people are already lax on their nutrition during the holidays with snacks and desserts, so following these tips will help keep some semblance of a wholesome diet while on the road.

MomActive believes in Giving Back and so does Komar, the largest sleepwear and intimate apparel manufacturer in the United States.  Komar has set up a website called PJsforthecure.com in an effort to raise $1 million for the JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation).  100% of every sale on Pjsforthecure.com will be donated to JDRF.

From the website:

The inspiration for PJs for the Cure originated with Charlie Komar, President & CEO of the 101 year old family company. Charlie explains, “In 1990, my wife, Liz, was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. She was suddenly completely dependent upon synthetic insulin to keep her alive. She checks her blood sugar levels several times a day and is very careful of her eating habits and activities to ensure that she does not fall into a diabetic coma or worse. The realization of how serious her condition is and the dangers associated with it completely changed our lives.”

The efforts of JDRF and finding a cure for Juvenile Diabetes is a cause that MomActive has committed to being a part of.  One of our loyal community members was recently touched by this disease when her daughter was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes.  Later this week on BTR, MomActive Live will be speaking with Kelly Loubet @childhood about what led her to test her daughters urine for sugar and the blur of events that followed, ultimately resulting in a life-changing diagnosis for her daughter Ali.  Tune in Tuesday at 11am ET HERE.

We encourage you to visit PJsforthecure.com to support this great cause and give recognition to a company that is giving back.

When it comes to your child, one of the most important issues you should be concerned with is the way they feel about themselves. To a child, the world is a huge place – a place that, for some, is filled with acceptance and approval; but for others, it is a world of uncertainty which presents judgment and ridicule. While there is nothing you can do to control which world your child lives in, there are a few things you can do to determine how your child responds to the world around them - and how they allow that world to affect and influence them!

There are endless factors that play a role in the atmospheric composition of peers around your child. Keep in mind that children can be cruel – often for absolutely no reason. When a child finds himself or herself on the receiving end of negativity, it can be a hard hit to their self esteem – the way they regard themselves. It can be extremely frustrating for a parent, but there are things you can do to help:

• Develop a constructive method of correction. When they are being corrected for behavioral problem, avoid questions like, “What is wrong with you?” or comparing them to a sibling or other child. Suggest ways they can avoid disobeying – counting to ten before deciding on an action or reaction so that they are more apt to think about the consequences would be a great start. Above all, always encourage your child by making him/her feel like they are a part of a team – that you are working WITH them to help them be their best because you know they can do it!
• Do not discipline or chastise when you are upset. We get tired, overwhelmed, and quite frankly worn out with repeating the same thing over and over again. When parental rebuke involves emotion, there is a higher chance of things being said that cannot be taken back. This small moment can damage your child’s esteem for years to come. AVOID speaking to your child when they have greatly upset you. Calm down, then sit down to handle the situation later when you’re able to address it in a more productive manner.
• If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times! … Many children are not capable of returning to previous tasks when they’ve become sidetracked without reminders. Likewise, a child’s thought process often doesn’t lend itself to reverting back to past lessons when making decisions. Do not tear down your child’s confidence by pointing out this flaw. Help them by finding creative ways to encourage them to think before acting. Their inability to control their forgetfulness in this area may result in feelings of inadequacy and make them believe they aren’t as bright as other kids. Be proactive by helping them to develop better habits which will result in fewer necessary corrections. Encourage them to do things you ask right away so they don’t become distracted. Also, instead of simply telling them the rules, remind them of previous consequences – the most effective are natural consequences, not ones you handed down. Discuss how a certain action resulted in your child – or another child – getting hurt.
• Tell your child how GREAT he/she is! Many children become victims of themselves… They don’t hold themselves at their value because they don’t hear it enough. Don’t forget to continuously express how proud you are of them, mention things they have accomplished, and always be vocal about things you’ve noticed when they weren’t aware you were watching. This not only says that you care enough to be conscious of their activities, but also inadvertently creates the understanding that you see/know more than they think you do
• Help your child find their talents. Many children begin feeling bad about themselves simply out of jealousy. They notice other children who are great at drawing, sports, singing, etc., and they start to wonder why they can’t do those things as well. Help your child find what they are good at and start developing fun ways to get them involved in those things on a larger scale. When a child is a part of something bigger than themselves, it makes them feel more important and healthier confidence levels mean they are less likely to succumb to peer pressure as they get older.
• Explain to your child why some children are just naturally vicious. Yes, it’s true. There are those children that are going to pick on others. Often, that child lacks self esteem and confidence and will act out of jealousy to try to destroy those things in his/her peers. It is best for your child that you provide the understanding that ignoring it will often make it go away {if someone can’t get a response, they typically grow bored}. Likewise, make sure they know they can always come talk to you without you getting involved. Children hide things from their parents because they don’t want to be the one who “snitched” and become ridiculed for running to mommy. If your child knows you will work with them to find a solution without stepping in to rescue them, they will be more inclined to bring their problems to you for your perspective.

Two things that are the cornerstone when it comes to a child’s self esteem start at home: love and encouragement. If your child is met with acceptance and approval at home, chances are he/she will interpret things differently when they are out in the world. It is true that perception is reality and if a child is not lacking acceptance and approval or love and encouragement, they will be less likely to seek it out. Security at home cures a multitude of childhood issues, including those of self esteem. Once a child’s esteem is low, it is difficult to build it back up. Be proactive! Teach your child how wonderful he/she is from the very start and give them a lifetime of advantages!

Pregnant? Or planning on getting pregnant soon?

If so, there are 5 health and body musts that you should put into practice now!  Why? Because the key is to be proactive, which often times is A LOT easier than being reactive, especially when we’re talking about matters of the body.  Of course, every woman’s health and body varies, so the same practice won’t always yield the same results, but a little effort can still go a long way.

Below are the 5 things you should do for your health and body before getting pregnant.  It’s also important to continue most of these suggestions even after child birth, as healthy practices will continue to make you look and feel better.

1.)    Establish and maintain good fertility and pre-baby health. What does that mean? To sum up…No smoking, drinking, drugs, prescription drugs (unless advised by doc), stress, herbs, caffeine, artificial sweeteners, hazardous chemicals.  Also maintain healthy body weight, good nutrition and regular doctor appointments.  For a great article and detailed list on this, go to American Pregnancy Association.

2.)    Start a Nutritious Diet. Blah, blah, blah…we all know this one but yet many of us fall short anyway. Why? Well, that’s for another time and another post.  Here we’re only addressing the what. So what is a pre-preggers nutritious diet?  Prenatal vitamins, folic acid, vitamin C, dark leafy greens (ie-spinach) orange veggies (ie-squash, apricots), legumes (beans), proteins, whole grains (oatmeal), calcium (yogurt) and iron (meat, veggies).  And stop eating all that fast food! (do you really need a reason?).  If you want to learn more about nutritious foods in greater detail, read this informative article at American Pregnancy Association.

3.)    Cardio 3x per week. This can be low impact like walking if you’re just starting out…you don’t have to run marathons to get into shape.  Some good cardio exercises include running, brisk walking (walking your dog), dancing (belly dancing & strip tease are popular and good for the bod), jumping rope, mini trampoline (supposed to be better than running) and weighted hula hoop (awesome for the mid-section).  You should do cardio at least 30 minutes, 3x per week.  Remember-ALWAYS consult with your doctor before beginning a cardio routine.

4.)    Tone your Transverse Abdominals. This one is VERY important before getting pregnant!  To quote from Pregnancyinfo.net, your transverse abdominals, “are the deepest lying abdominal muscles that basically act as a girdle to your entire middle section.” Working these babies are the key to a flatter tummy.  Strengthening these muscles will help with labor and regaining your pre-baby belly.  If you want specific exercises to work your Transverse abdominal muscles, visit this article at Pregnancyinfo.net.

5.)    DO YOUR KEGELS!!! I saved the best for last with this one.  Stop snickering…you won’t be later.  Kegel exercises, named after a doctor in the 1940’s, are exercises that work your pelvic floor muscles, affecting your bladder, uterus and rectum.  Most importantly though, they help squeeze “the area”, tighter.  You can certainly wait to do this after until after child birth, once everything has been stretched. Or you can do this now, and really get those muscles strong so that they bounce back faster. It’s really quite a simple exercise and can be done in your car, cubicle, while chattin’ on the phone, ect.  To learn how to do a Kegel exercise, click on Pregnancyinfo.net.

So put away that double espresso and double chocolate muffin from Starbucks (so good!), because you’re starting a new and exciting journey, and it’s gonna take some hard work and discipline…but surely will pay off in the end, ask any new mama.

And if you are newly expecting and looking to share some laughs and candid talk with someone in your shoes, check out this future mama!

* Please note that all diet and exercise suggestions in this article are directed to woman pre and post pregnancy. If you are pregnant, please consult with your doctor before trying any suggestions here.  This is not medical advice. So always consult with your doctor first.

The choice to stay home is not always an easy one to make.  Moms face a variety of concerns when determining what the best choice for their family is.  These issues weigh heavily on our minds and are worthy of discussion.  Let’s explore 5 of the most common reasons women say they can’t stay at home….

1. My household depends on both incomes.
It’s true. It probably does, these days. The cost of living has greatly increased since women have largely stopped being stay at home moms. Have you sat down, and looked at all of your expenses? If you really analyze it, you might see many areas that can be changed or cut out completely.
Do you really need premium cable? Seriously, non-cable television networks have really juiced it up…there’s no reason to pay for profanity or nudity anymore.
Downsize to one car, do your own gardening, get rid of that gym membership you haven’t used since the “Rachel” haircut was popular, stop eating out, etc. You get the idea here.

2. I need to work to keep the health insurance.
Well, if that’s the case, you have some options. Ask your hubby to talk with his boss or human resources department. Perhaps his plan can cover dependants, see what can be worked out. It never hurts to ask. If that’s not an option, look into individual health plans, more and more are becoming pretty affordable, and there are many options out there.
Take a look at the Health Insurance Resource Center , they offer comprehensive consumer info on health insurance for any state. If you’re pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant, check out the American Pregnancy Association for affordable healthcare.

3. I don’t have the resources or know-how to start a home business.
Yes you do. You just think you don’t. It really only takes drive, hard work and a little motivation, and maybe a good idea or two. There are so many profitable business ideas that require little to no start up costs.
What are your talents and or hobbies? Really think about it. We all have something that we can do, that others cannot. Are you creative? Start an Etsy business, sell on EBay, be a virtual assistant, dog-walker, party-planner, blogger…the list is infinite, just do a little research.

Or you can become a work-at-home-mom by convincing your boss that you are the be-all, end-all of your position and it would be in the best interest of the company if you did your magic…from home.

4. I worked hard to get where I am.
And? So what. Being the most important person ever, to the peeps in your home is sooo much more important and gratifying. Need I say more?

5. I Would Be Bored.
Oh right, like work isn’t a total yawn-fest most of the time. Let’s face it, life just isn’t that exciting all the time. I’m sure your kiddos wouldn’t find you boring, nor your hubby, when he walks through the door each night to a warm and happy home filled with love, because you make it that way.

You have a lot to think about, take the time to think it through and sit down with your spouse to figure it all out. Remember though, when you do what’s best for you and your family, everything else will work itself out.