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First Aid for Summer

Fiona Bryan — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 13:10:40 +0000

By Stacey Colino for Live Right Live Well

When it comes to summer bummers like splinters, scrapes and burns, the tricks your mother used may not be best. In some cases, old wives’ tales have been deemed ineffective; in others, doctors have simply found better, science-based ways to treat these injuries. Whatever the case, if your first-aid techniques aren’t on target, you could end up adding insult to your injury. Here’s the latest:

You’re walking barefoot and get a splinter in your foot
Old thinking: Leave it alone if it’s not bothering you.
New thinking: Pull the splinter out with tweezers, then wash your foot thoroughly.

Why the switch: “Wood is an organic substance, and your body’s attack on [the splinter] creates a lot of problems with inflammation,” explains Robert Shesser, M.D., chair of the department of emergency medicine at George Washington University in Washington, D.C. This can set the stage for an infection. Your best bet is to use a sterilized needle to open a little tract around the splinter, then pull it out with tweezers, Dr. Shesser says. Once it’s out, clean the area with soap and water and watch for such signs of infection as redness, swelling, increased pain or pus. If any of these develop or if you can’t remove the splinter on your own, see a doctor.

You fall off your bike and scrape your knee
Old thinking: Clean the wound with hydrogen peroxide, alcohol or an iodine solution.
New thinking: Wash the cut with plain ol’ water and a mild soap.

Why the switch: While strong solutions such as hydrogen peroxide, alcohol or an iodine preparation can kill bacteria in the wound, they can also “hurt normal tissue in the body, which slows the healing process and makes the damaged skin more vulnerable to infection,” Dr. Shesser explains. Instead, thoroughly clean the abrasion with water and soap, making sure you get all the dirt out. Since this can hurt, you may want to take an over-the-counter pain reliever (such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen) first. Once the wound is clean, apply an antibiotic ointment (such as bacitracin) and a no-stick bandage to keep it clean and dry.

You’re grilling burgers and burn your finger
Old thinking: Put vitamin E on it.
New thinking: Run cold water over it.

Why the switch: “The first thing you need to do is cool it to stop the burning process and relieve the pain,” says Richard O’Brien, M.D., a spokesman for the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP) and an emergency physician at Moses Taylor Hospital in Scranton, Pa. To do this, put the area under cold, running water or apply cold compresses or a bag of frozen peas for five minutes at a time until the burn begins to feel better. Then clean the area with soap and water and apply an antibiotic ointment (vitamin E won’t kill bacteria). To help with the pain, you can take ibuprofen or acetaminophen. “If you haven’t had a tetanus shot in the last ten years, get one within a day or two,” adds Dr. Shesser. And if the burn blisters, wait for it to pop naturally, then continue to keep the area clean and reapply an antibiotic ointment until it has healed.

While tossing a flying disc, you twist your ankle
Old thinking: Walk it off.
New thinking: Follow the RICE advice.

Why the switch: Sure, it’s a good sign if you can walk, because if you can’t or if your ankle looks deformed, you should have it X-rayed to make sure it’s not broken. But to avoid aggravating the injury, it’s best to keep your weight off it. What else? “If it’s just pain and swelling, the RICE acronym [Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation] works beautifully,” says Michael Carius, M.D., chairman of the emergency department at Norwalk Hospital in Connecticut and a past president of the ACEP. Rest your ankle (by staying off it), apply ice (for 20 minutes at a time for the next 24 hours), use a compression bandage (but not too tightly) and elevate the ankle (above your heart) to decrease swelling and pain. Ibuprofen can also help reduce pain and swelling, but if the pain gets worse or you have trouble moving your ankle after 24 hours, see a doctor.

You got whacked in the nose while playing soccer, and now your nose is bleeding
Old thinking: Tilt your head back and pinch your nostrils until the bleeding stops.
New thinking: Lean your head slightly forward and pinch the bridge of your nose.

Why the switch: If you hold your head back, the blood will go down your throat. This could cause you to gag, or it could irritate your stomach and make you vomit. Instead, lean forward and apply pressure to the bridge of your nose for 15 minutes without stopping, Dr. Carius advises. “You can also apply an ice pack, which will constrict the blood vessels and decrease blood flow around the nose.” Most nosebleeds can be stopped without medical attention, but if it’s still bleeding after 20 minutes, head to the ER.

So there you have it — the latest thinking in first-aid treatment. Now that you know how to keep summer bummers from turning into summer spoilers, go out and enjoy the warm weather while it lasts!

Stacey Colino

Stacey Colino has written for The Washington Post health section and many national magazines, including Newsweek, Real Simple, Woman’s Day, Self, Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Parenting, Sports Illustrated and Ladies’ Home Journal.

Measuring BMI ~ Are You Fit or Fat?

Fiona Bryan — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 13:00:51 +0000

By Michael Castleman for Live Right Live Well

It’s hard to resist quick-and-dirty medical tests. After all, they’re fast, easy, cheap and noninvasive. The only problem is that their accuracy is limited. For the past several decades, the standard quick-and-dirty test for obesity has been the Body Mass Index (BMI): Multiply your weight in pounds by 703, and divide the result by the square of your height in inches. A normal BMI is 18.5 to 25; anything over that means you’re overweight. Sure it’s easy — all you need is a calculator — but is it accurate?

Flaws in the Formula
More and more, experts are acknowledging the limitations of the BMI formula. These include:

Athletic conditioning Since muscle weighs more than fat, ultra-fit athletes with lots of muscle and very little body fat can get BMI scores in the “overweight” category even though they’re fitter than the average person.

Age As you get older, muscle tends to get replaced by fat, which can cause BMI scores to skew low and understate your fat-related health risks.

Gender Women naturally carry more body fat than men, which can skew BMI scores low, understating a woman’s fat-related health risks.

Fat distribution Most important, BMI says nothing about where your fat is located. Research shows that people with a lot of abdominal fat (aka pot belly or apple shape) have a greater risk of diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and heart disease than people who collect fat on their hips, thighs and buttocks (aka pear shape).

Two people with the same BMI, one shaped like an apple, the other shaped like a pear, the apple-shaped person will have a higher risk of heart attack, even though their BMIs are identical.

Better than BMI
Given the limitations of the BMI formula, what’s the best way to determine whether you’re fit or fat?

Hydrostatic weighing This is the gold standard. Using special equipment, you’re weighed while completely submerged under water. The drawback: Hydrostatic weighing is rarely available outside of research institutions.

DEXA (dual energy X-ray absorptiometry) DEXA is the special X-ray used to determine bone density and osteoporosis. It can also be used to estimate body fat. But it requires very expensive equipment and trained technicians.

Bioelectrical impedance analysis This test passes a tiny, safe electrical current through the body. Until recently, this method required expensive equipment and a trained technician. Now, some health clubs offer it, and home test kits have become available, but their reliability is not entirely clear.

Skinfold measurement A tweezer-like caliper is used to measure folds of skin (and the underlying fat) at several places around the body. Like BMI, this test is quick — but somewhat dirty. For the most accurate results, have it done by a trained doctor, nurse or technician.

Waist circumference This test doesn’t measure body fat, but it does provide an indication of your risk of fat-related health conditions. Simply measure your waist at the navel. “Risk of diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease begins to rise with a waist measurement above 31 inches in women and 37 inches in men,” explains Harvey Simon, M.D., an associate professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School. “Measurements above 35 inches in women and 40 inches in men are in the danger zone.”

Waist-to-hip ratio This test is almost as quick as waist circumference, but less dirty. Divide your waist measurement by your hip measurement. In women, a waist measurement that’s more than 80 percent of your hips signals too much abdominal fat and an increased risk for health problems associated with obesity. In men, the figure is 95 percent (because men have narrower hips).

The Bottom Line
Today, BMI continues to play a key role in physicians’ diagnoses of obesity. However, more doctors are complementing it with other tests. “Personally, I now pay more attention to waist measurement than BMI,” says Dr. Simon. Adds Arya M. Sharma, M.D., a professor of medicine at McMaster University School of Medicine in Hamilton, Ontario: “Not long ago, doctors put people on scales and measured their heights to calculate BMI and their risk of cardiovascular disease. Now we know they should forget the scale and take out a tape measure.”

Michael Castleman

Michael Castleman has been called “one of the nation’s leading health writers” (Library Journal). He is the author of 11 consumer health books and more than 1,500 health articles for magazines and the Web.

No More Knee Problems

Fiona Bryan — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 20:35:51 +0000

By Eric Butterman for Live Right Live Well

Whether they’re crunching and crackling, or buckling when they should bend, knees seem to reach their expiration date faster than does skim milk. If your knees feel older than you are, the culprit may likely be found between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., according to Erik Moen, a physical therapist and founder of Corpore Sano Physical Therapy in Kenmore, Wash. “Many people are at a computer for work, and all that time sitting makes you lose strength in the hip gluteus medius,” says Moen. He explains that this crucial muscle stabilizes your leg from your hip to your knee, and if you don’t keep them strong, your knees will weaken over time.

Another major knee problem can actually come from being too active — if it’s the wrong activity. Your knees are coated with cartilage, which provides a cushion when you move. “But there’s only so much [cartilage] available for a lifetime,” says Moen. “Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Activities such as running for long distances every day or jumping too much can eventually wear it thin.”

While you can’t quit your job or restore the cartilage already lost, there are steps you can take to minimize further damage and maximize knee health as you grow older:

1. Get off Your Feet
Running is a knee killer, and even walking can do slight damage. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s time to retire your sneakers. Instead, diversify. “Biking or doing another exercise with less impact every other workout will allow your knees to repair the damage,” says Moen. Remember, you don’t want to stop doing cardio, because excess weight gain can put stress on the knees as well.

2. Positive Posture
When posture is out of alignment, it causes your body to shift weight to the knees at an unhealthy angle. You want your hips to sit over your knees, but that can only happen by training the rest of your body not to hunch. A top exercise to improve posture is the wall sit: Begin by putting yourself in a seated position against the wall; then flatten your lower back, then mid-back, then your head against the wall. Pull your arms back to complete the movement. Hold for as long as you can while maintaining good form.

3. Get a Lift
Sideline leg lifts will improve the aforementioned gluteus medius. Lie on your side with your knees slightly bent, then elevate your top leg 12 to 15 inches past horizontal. Three sets of 12 reps is optimal. Remember to work out both legs.

4. Don’t Ignore Pain
“Listen to your
knees,” says Moen. “Serious knee problems don’t usually start overnight — they
fester.” So if you’re experiencing knee pain, especially if it’s intolerable,
then you need to figure out why you’re having it. Better a doctor’s appointment
now than a knee replacement later!

Eric Butterman Eric Butterman has written health
articles for more than 20 publications, including Glamour, Men’s
Fitness and Shape.

Is Tap Water Better?

Fiona Bryan — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 03:11:15 +0000

By Michael Castleman for Live Right Live Well

What’s in that bottle of water you just bought? Ads suggest it’s pure H₂O, implying that it’s less contaminated by pollutants than what flows from the tap. But recent tests commissioned by the Environmental Working Group (EWG), a nonprofit environmental organization based in Washington, D.C., show that 10 bestselling brands of bottled water contained “a surprising array of chemical contaminants…at levels no different from those found in tap water.”

The International Bottled Water Association countered that the EWG’s report contained “false claims and exaggerations” and maintains that bottled water meets federal standards for drinking water quality.

So what’s a water drinker to do? Get the facts and then decide for yourself.

Fact No. 1: An estimated 45 percent of bottled water comes from ordinary municipal water supplies.
Many bottlers begin with municipal water, filter it and label their product as “purified” water. “Spring” water must come from an underground spring. “Mineral” water must come from an underground source and contain at least 250 parts per million of total dissolved minerals. “Artesian” water must come from a well that taps into an aquifer.

While all this may sound good, keep in mind that all municipal water supplies are filtered, and many come from springs or aquifers and contain enough minerals to be called mineral water. If you’re curious where your bottled water comes from, check the label, visit the company’s Web site or call their 800 number to ask.

Fact No. 2: Bottled water is less regulated than tap water. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) regulates tap water and requires municipal water systems to test annually for contaminants and publish the results. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) regulates bottled water but has no testing or publication requirement and rarely inspects bottled water plants. “In other words, consumers have to take bottlers’ word for the purity of their products,” says Nneka Leiba, co-author of the EWG report.

If you’d like to view the latest test results for the water that flows from your tap, contact your municipal water supplier to ask for a copy. You can also have your water tested — which may not be a bad idea if you live in an older home, since old pipes can sometimes add contaminants to your water. The EPA’s Safe Drinking Water Hotline (800-426-4791) can provide the names of reputable laboratories.

Fact No. 3: Chemicals may leach from plastic bottles into bottled water.
This is controversial. Some experts say there is little, if anything, to worry about. But several studies, show that chemicals from plastic bottles leach into bottled water, notably formaldehyde, acetaldehyde and acetone. The EWG recommends storing water in stainless steel bottles, not plastic.

Fact No. 4: Home water filters are cheaper than bottled water.
OK, so maybe you don’t like the taste of the tap water in your area, or the test results reported to the EPA were less than stellar. Water filters can help at a fraction of the cost of bottled water. Just keep in mind that home filters must be cleaned and serviced regularly, otherwise the contaminants they trap might be reintroduced into your water.

Fact No. 5: Plastic bottles are bad for the planet.
Americans drink nine billion gallons of bottled water a year, packaged in the equivalent of about 35 billion one-liter plastic bottles. It takes a great deal of energy to manufacture those bottles, says Allen Herskowitz, a senior scientist with the Natural Resources Defense Council. It takes even more energy to fill those bottles and ship them, often thousands of miles, to market. In the end, the vast majority of empty water bottles end up in landfills.

So give some thought before you buy your next bottle of water. Some people like the convenience, especially when they’re out and about. Others prefer the taste. But if your primary concern is purity, you might do just as well turning on the tap.

Michael Castleman Michael Castleman has been called “one of the nation’s leading health writers” (Library Journal). He is the author of 11 consumer health books and more than 1,500 health articles for magazines and the Web.

Do You Have A Personal Journey?

Fiona Bryan — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 06:49:29 +0000

The month of January has come and gone.

The resolutions we ‘so call’ made are a distant memory.

Personally, I am not a fan of resolutions.

However, I do enjoy making goals – you know the type that give you the warm fuzzies inside, the pleasure of endorphins running amuck due to self gratification, a sense of fulfillment that, YES, I did accomplish this myself!

This is what I want to talk about.

This is where I want you involved.

This is our quest throughout the year!

Will you join me? (if not…too bad, I will hunt you down and pester you like that annoying kid in the back of class that spat spit wads at the back of your head)

Welcome!

I am glad YOU have decided to come aboard the personal journey.

Really, it is simple.

I want to know what is it YOU want to accomplish this year.

Sure, we would all like to lose 10 pounds, get in shape, quit smoking – blah blah those are resolutions that we forget about once we get rid of that New Years Eve hangover.

I want YOU to be unique, creative – seek something deep down that YOU want to fulfill for YOU!

Catch my drift?

It is as easy as this….

Yours truly – this year’s personal journey is to work on my own mental stability. I want to be more positive, less stressed, back to my easy going lackadaisical self. You will have more of an understanding of where I am coming from next month as I go into some deep details.

Next up, the Mrs. aka my wife has made it her own personal journey to run in three half marathons this year. She has never run in a marathon prior, nor is she an avid runner. Her first half marathon was at the end of January, the PF Changs here in Arizona. Of course it kicked her butt, but she kicked butt by finishing it and never stopping! Her next stop will be San Diego!

These are the types of personal journeys I want to know about from YOU! Will YOU join me? Leave a comment with a means of contact below with what it is YOU want to accomplish this year. Once a month I will follow up to see how YOU are coming along. Yes, I will be your Cheerleader (just without the pompoms and short skirt)! Remember this is for YOU!

Let’s get active….MomActive!

Peas Out!

~daddy b.

Sex Does a Body Good!

Fiona Bryan — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:08:13 +0000

Today we welcome Kelly Loubet from Childhoodclothing.com!

Sex… for some of us… that word alone is enough to make us blush. For others… it ain’t no thing chicken wing. The reality of it is… whether it’s with that special someone or all alone in the bath tub… sex is an important and healthy part of our lives.

Not only does sex sometimes provide partnership… sex does a body good in many ways! I had no idea that there were so many benefits beyond… well… stress relief for one. Stress relief is a benefit of healthy sex! I knew that… anyone that’s had “it’s been a crappy day” sex knows that! Let me list some of the more interesting ones I found. (Thanks Web M.D.!)

Sex boosts your immunity. Having sex a couple times a week increases the antibody Immunoglobin A, which helps you fight colds and infections! Who knew!?

Sex burns calories. I knew this… but it’s still fun! Did you know that 30 minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more? Get to it!

Sex boosts your self esteem. Great sex makes you feel like a rock star. If you already felt like you were amazing before… having sex only makes you feel better.

Sex eases pain. While having a sexual encounter… endorphins are flowing and the hormone oxytocin is released. Oxytocin is responsible for that warm, fuzzy, “nothing could ruin this moment” type feeling. You know.. that feeling you get after you… um… finish?

Sex helps you sleep better. That same oxytocin that’s released during the big “O” is also responsible for making us feel sleepy. Healthy sleep habits promote weight loss and help to control blood pressure.

I was given the opportunity to test drive an amazing little product from Eden Fantasys recently. I was looking for something beyond the standard vibrating… uh… dildo? (I can’t believe I just said “dildo”) I wanted to try something new and fun! The lovely Nicole Ibarrondo, marketing extraordinaire, took some time to discuss with me what my * cough * needs were. Together, we decided on this little beauty: The Nea.

When I first opened the package, I was surprised to find an elegant black box. I’ll admit… I was expecting something trashy! The Nea is so far from trashy! Inside the jewelry like box was the Nea, a charger, an instruction booklet, and a sweet little travel bag. I travel a lot… I knew that I could get through airport security unembarrassed with my Nea. Yes… I have been stopped in possession of a less discreet item.

Holding it is almost like holding a computer mouse… only smaller. It’s contoured to hit all of your external hot spots. I find that the Nea is best used for direct clitoral contact. (I totally said that without blushing) The two buttons on the bottom control the speed of the vibration and the pulse modes. There are FIVE pulse modes and let me tell you that each one is well… perfect… no matter what your mood. Not only that… but the Nea is quiet! It’s nearly silent!

My favorite part about the Nea is the fact that it’s re-chargable. That’s right! No more stealing batteries from the T.V. remote just to get your kicks. I bet you want one now… Well Eden Fantasys is giving away a $25 gift certificate toward the purchase of your choice so check out Childhoodclothing.com to enter the giveaway!

Measuring Weight Loss Success

Fiona Bryan — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 16:57:06 +0000

Many of us chose to work out to lose weight as our New Year’s Resolution. However, that darn scale is not moving in the direction we want it to… don’t let the scale win over. There are more ways to measure success that we can use to our advantage.

First, let’s use that tape measure. Sometimes, we’ll start losing inches before that number on the scale starts moving in the right direction. Keep track of those problem areas and enjoy those losses. In my case, hips and thighs are measurements I always track.

Another way to measure success is by measuring body fat percentage. There are numerous websites, like this one, that help you calculate your body fat. Now, there are many ways to get to this number and many variables to make it change at any given minute. However, keeping track of body fat percentage can be rewarding. As with that number on the scale, all I look for from this number is a downward trend.

Last but not least, take pictures. You decide who sees it. Every week or month – you decide the frequency – I take pictures, front, side, back. Seeing your body change can be a great motivator to continue to exercise.

No matter what measuring tool you use keep your resolutions and goals in mind and keep plugging along.

5 Important Foods

Fiona Bryan — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:34:22 +0000

When living with a chronic illness so much is out of our (the patient) control. However, our diet is something we can control. There are some foods that can have a positive impact on your health and I wanted to share five of them with you today.

dark chocolate- as if I needed an excuse, right? But you can eat a small piece of dark chocolate daily, with no guilt, as research has shown dark chocolate lowers blood pressure and contains antioxidants.
squash- I personally love zucchini but any type of squash is high in fiber. Side effects of many of the medications we take for chronic pain, etc. can cause constipation so eating a diet high in fiber is a must!
nuts- particularly almonds and other nuts low in saturated fat. Nuts are good for so many things…cognitive clarity, eye sight and more. They are also a low calorie, filling snack food. Nuts are rich in Omega-3 fatty acids which regulate hormones and mood as well as reduce inflammation in the body.
dairy- a diet that includes calcium rich foods including yogurt, milk and more is good for you on many levels. Dairy products, specifically milk, contain Vitamin D. Many people (including myself) are deficient in this vital vitamin and such a deficiency can lead to many problems, including neurological difficulties.Vitamin D and calcium also decrease the symptoms of PMS!
Carrots- Bugs Bunny must have known something researchers of his time didn’t. Carrots are full of dietary benefits. Lots of fiber, protection against colon cancer and help for the eyesight. What can’t a carrot do?

There are many more important foods to include in our diet that we will discuss in the upcoming weeks. Do you have a favorite “important” food? Feel free to share in the comments!

The Mommyhood Balancing Act (Part 2)

Fiona Bryan — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 15:35:32 +0000

Last week, I wrote about my need to find balance again in life. This week’s post will focus on how to achieve that.

Once I realized that things were out of control, I began making an action plan to regain it. But in order to create this plan, I had to better understand what needed to change. Here are a list of questions I found helpful that you may consider asking yourself:

Children:
When you spend time with your kids, is it truly quality time? Are you there physically, but somewhere else mentally? By establishing special play times when you can give them your full attention, this might help them feel like they are being paid attention to instead of being in the way. Our kids are very good at knowing when we want to spend time with them versus when we have to spend time with them. If you are a stay-at-home mom, do you find that you feel like being with the kids all day is a drag sometimes? Try and remind yourself why you became a mother and encourage yourself not to get swept up in the stresses.

Spouse/Significant Other
Do you set a standard date night at least once a month? Is there one night a week to truly catch up, spend time together, and enjoy each other’s company? Do you take a second once in awhile to remember just why you married him/her? All of these things get easily pushed aside and instantly have an effect on your relationship. The truth is that this relationship is the most important to maintain/nourish because it sets the tone for the family and an example for your kids.

Work
Do you bring your outside work home with you? Do you let your work-at-home tasks take over your mind, making you unable to do much else when you’re in the house? Do you try to multi-task all the time, therefore keeping you from doing any one thing well? If you’re like me, you find yourself trying to get work (in my case, blogging) done on and off all day long. Unfortunately, this is the first thing that throws my life out of balance because it spills over onto so many other important tasks, such as spending time with family. Try and create a specific time for work tasks and stick to it.

Mommy Time
Do you carve out at least an hour or two a week to exercise, de-stress, or meditate? Do you have hobbies that encourage relaxation or fun outside of the family? Are you desperate to create time that is spent focusing only on you? What other tasks during the week can be moved down on the list in order to make this happen? We need to remember that even though everything else feels more important, if we aren’t feeling whole, this will negatively effect every other area of the family/life.

Action Plan
Use the above questions to brainstorm what needs to change in order to regain balance. By exploring them, you may find things are not as chaotic as you thought or you may realize that an action plan is way overdue. If it’s helpful, write your action plan out with specific steps on how you are going achieve these changes. Set a realistic timeframe and reassess often.

And once you’ve achieved balance in life again, look back and acknowledge all of the hard work you’ve done to get there!

You can read more of my thoughts on balancing motherhood and other random ramblings at The (Un)Experienced Mom.

Top 5 Reasons to Exercise

Fiona Bryan — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 16:23:42 +0000

Walking has been shown to boost immunity in fact lower the number of sick days, this was reported this week by The Appalachian State university. Walking 45 minutes 5 days a week was all it took for the effect.
It decreases your risk of cancer, a study done in 2560 Finnish men followed for 16 years found that men who were moderately active for 30 min a day had 50% less chance of developing cancer.
It helps you get a better nights sleep and evidence shows that good sleep is vital for maintaining a healthy weight.
It helps keep blood sugars in check, in fact if you have type 2 diabetes exercise is a wonderful tool to keep your blood sugars under control.
Its fun and can be a great family activity, playing tennis together, going to the pool, skiiing, dancing around the house!

References:

The Mommyhood Balancing Act (Part 1)

Fiona Bryan — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 10:27:07 +0000

I’ve recently noticed that my life has become unbalanced and I desperately need to regain it. The good thing is that I am pretty sure that I am not alone in this thought. The bad thing is that there is no equation that tells us exactly how to achieve balance. This two-part series will touch on what we need to consider and how we can find our way back to a better-balanced lifestyle.

What are the areas in life we need to balance?

Children
Being a mom means being “on” 100% of the time. Even if we aren’t physically with the kids, we are with them mentally, so it’s no wonder we are exhausted much of the time. And it’s no wonder that we find it hard to fit much else in. Especially when you are a stay-at-home mom, you start to feel like all you ever do is spend time with your kids. So how do we find time for our kids without ignoring the time we need for our own wants and needs?

Spouses/Significant Other
This relationship is the first to become unbalanced. Since the children need so much of our attention and time, that tends to eat into the time we used to set aside for our spouse. Evening cuddle time turns into “Since we’re so tired, let’s just go to bed” or, if you still have little kids, “I’ll see you after I feed the baby and put him to sleep” (by which time, you’re both too tired anyhow). So how do we put this relationship higher on our priority list when there are so many things already so high on the list?

Work
Whether this is working outside or inside of the home, or working on your hobby, blogging, this is one of the toughest areas to find time for. Since I started blogging, I have found that it can take up a lot of time. And with only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week, the time I set aside for blogging often overlaps other tasks. Unfortunately, if our work is at home, it’s very hard to balance spending time with kids and actually achieving something work-related. If you’re like me, you find yourself working on things in 5-minute increments, which means it takes forever to finish something. So how do we carve out time to be productive, even if we only have short periods of time in which to work?

Mommy Time
This is the thing that often gets pushed to the very bottom of the list; so far down that you have to squint to see it. However, many moms claim that if they get a little bit of personal time weekly, they are much happier moms, which in turn means for a happier family. Whether it’s working out, spending time with friends, reading a book, or something else you enjoy, finding our own personal time needs to be more of a priority. So how do we find even a small chunk of time for this when we are already overscheduled in our lives?

The 2nd part in this series will look at what questions we need to ask ourselves in order to create an action plan to get back to a balanced life.

You can find more of my thoughts on the difficult task of balancing motherhood at my blog, The (Un)Experienced Mom.

Learn How this Mompreneur Built a Business from a Love Letter!

Fiona Bryan — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 15:47:24 +0000

Nothing puts a smile on your face, like getting a love letter. And apparently no one knew this better than Linda, wife, mother and founder/ owner of Kind Notes, a successful mompreneur business that sells decorative jars filled with customizable kind notes.

Her imaginative idea came to her a few years ago when she wanted to send her boyfriend (now husband) a love letter for each day he was away, but thought a daily love letter might be a bit much. So instead she sent him short and sweet little notes, a new one for each day.

Linda’s hubby really enjoyed reading a new note each day. It wasn’t long after that, Linda realized that other people might also enjoy the warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from starting a new day with a special, little note from someone who loves them. She also thought people might appreciate a business that sells these kind notes already packaged elegantly for them.

She was right.

Below is my interview this lovely mompreneur. She talks about her biz, how it started, where it is now and how she manages this successful company that sells worldwide while putting her family first! If you are a budding mompreneur looking for a little inspiration…then grab a cup of coffee and read on…

1.) What is your business? Please describe in detail.

We exclusively manufacture customizable jars of messages enclosed in mini decorative envelopes, to be opened each day. Words of inspiration, love or thanks, or even a fond memory, these 31 notes will send a smile to the recipient. KindNotes has been said by many to be a unique gift that is expressive and meaningful, suitable for any occasion and everyone, especially for those who have everything.

You may choose from a variety of collections or add your personal touch by customizing your KindNotes® in five quick and easy steps with an interactive wizard, selecting the container, filling, ribbon, envelope design, and message options (A. Choose from our library of more than 500 messages; B. Request blank papers; C. Request your personalized messages to be handwritten for you).

Each order is completely assembled and put together according to the customization so that you don’t have to do a thing, from your messages being folded and stuffed into each envelope, to their very presentation inside the container.

Our products are made with high quality materials and are finely crafted to be treasured and reopened year after year.

2.) Is it a local, national or int’l business?

We offer our products and services worldwide.

3.) Who is your target market?

Our market consists of both men and women between the ages of 18-65.

4.) What made you decide to go into business for yourself?

I made the first version of KindNotes for my then-boyfriend-now-husband several years ago. I thought about the pleasant feeling of receiving a personal letter in the mail each day, but soon-after thought the long letters might just scare him away so I wrote 31 short notes onto small pieces of paper, stuffed them into plain miniature envelopes and put them in an embellished jar. My husband then began each day with a note that made him smile.

Several years later, we decided to share the idea and make it available to everyone, knowing that people have no time, have trouble thinking of unique gifts, or have a difficult time expressing their thoughts. It’s a great way to spread kindness!

5.) What made you decide on this particular business?

I’ve always liked crafting meaningful gifts and my husband loved opening the notes each morning – if he liked it that much, why not share the idea with others and provide a service to hand-make it for them? It was worth a try and soon proved to be a great decision.

6.) How long have you been working at it now?

It’s been about 3 years.

7.) Are you working to supplement household income or replace your previous full time income? Or just as an outlet for yourself?

It’s truly rewarding to know that people out there are beginning each day with a smile. Even if it requires a good amount of time to make the KindNotes according to each customization, we make sure that our prices are affordable and reasonable. It’s worth it to know that our products help spread kindness to others.

8.) How many kids do you have or planning to have?

I have a 5-month-old son, Preston.

9.)If you currently have kids, describe in detail how you manage your kids, husband, home and business?

There is so much to do in a day that I sometimes stare blankly across the room, not knowing how or where to start. Luckily it lasts for only half a minute and I move forward with tackling my list of priorities. I always manage to keep a balanced schedule and make time to spend with my family. Making to-do lists and prioritizing are key.

10.) What are your future plans for the business and home life?

We keep our inventory fresh with new product releases throughout the year. We continuously look for ways to improve our products/services and hope to grow our marketing efforts for 2010. As for home life, I plan to keep my family close no matter how busy I become, giving my son the love and attention he needs.

11.) What is your best weapon against the stress of managing business and home?

If my mind is occupied with too many things that are causing me to become stressed, I remind myself “one thing at a time” and do the next most important thing on my list. My other favorite reminder is, “Be thankful for what you have”.

12.) Do you have any advice/tips on becoming successful as a mompreneur?

When I was younger, I would always hear the adults say “Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it”. Now I know that this is a true piece of advice. If you feel strongly about something, just do it. If you turn out to be wrong, you’ll learn from it and move on to better opportunities.

Any additional thoughts?

**We offer envelopes/papers sold separately for those who want to make their own KindNotes – this saves them a lot of time. Strips of paper alone can be used but enclosing them in envelopes make it more exciting for the recipient to open and the presentation of the jar looks even better with the decorative envelopes.**

**We offer all troops an additional 20% off to help them stay connected with their family. They would need to request their discount code by emailing us at info@kindnotes.com using their military email address.**

Here are several ways to connect with us:

info@kindnotes.com

www.kindnotes.com

www.blog.kindnotes.com

www.twitter.com/kindnotes

Thanks so much for your time Linda! Blessings to you and your family in 2010! For more great mompreneur stories, check out Featured Mompreneur at The Pursuit of Mommyness!

The Tale of a Resolution

Fiona Bryan — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 02:34:05 +0000

A couple years ago I made a New Year’s resolution. It was to stop making New Year’s resolutions.

Like the gaggles of people before me, I had resolved time and time again to lose weight. Because every January first, this time was different.

But was it?

No. It would turn into February and even though I was so “Gung Ho!” on January 1st and joined the millions of others flocking to the gym in January, my motivation eventually waned within weeks and my poor little resolution crumpled. Oh, it was a sad state.

One year, instead, I began to make goals. January 1st was as good a time as any to wipe the slate clean. To reflect at the previous year, learn from mistakes, make new goals and move forward.

So what’s so different about a goal, anyway, and why did that seem to work instead? In the dictionary, “resolution” means, “A formal expression of opinion or intention made.” Or, “A resolving to do something.” Whereas, “goal” means, “The result or achievement toward which effort is directed.”

Where the fatal flaw in my whole “losing weight” scheme was that I was basically standing up, putting my finger up in the air and declaring to the world in my loudest voice, “This year I’m losing weight!”

Which would be all fine and good, but the words “losing weight” are such a blanket statement that I would just begin pounding away at the gym and “dieting” with very little results. Which in hindsight made sense because honestly, I wasn’t sure what the end goal was anyway! I failed to answer some very important questions in my declaration; questions that would point me to a specific goal and a road to get there.

What was my BMI? What was a healthy BMI? What exactly should I be doing at the gym to achieve this? Cardio? Weights? Some combination? Was I making conscious decisions daily about my health? Why was I going into the gym and doing weights but nothing was happening? How was I going to eat? You mean skipping meals isn’t a form of calorie counting?

What would come along with my resolution-wrecking would be the guilt of failing, the feeling of being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start, and of course, in the end, still being overweight. Square one. Year after year. And I finally decided that resolutions just didn’t work for me.

The year I resolved to stop making resolutions (and making my own head hurt!), I began to look at weight-loss as the big picture (no pun intended) and break up the big picture into smaller, individual goals. Not only did the smaller goals look less overwhelming, they actually looked achieveable!

Instead of looking at my weight-loss goal in one giant number, like, say 50 pounds, I broke it up into 10 pound increments and focused on just those 10. Having to lose 10 pounds takes a lot less time than 50, and plus it gave me a focus. What I found that when I was getting close to my 10 pound “mini-goal”, it would make me work that much harder because I was about to see a whole new “decade” of numbers!
A ten pound loss meant a pants size! Which coincidentally meant shopping…(a nice reward!)
Quicker results meant continued motivation. By breaking up my bigger goal into smaller, more achievable ones, I was constantly being refreshed by new motivation.
Reaching more goals meant more rewards for me! I like a system based on rewards…

Meeting all the little goals eventually meant that the starting point was eventually further away than the finish line. And what became even more valuable was the journey itself. And rather than another failed resolution, I was finally meeting my goal. I was in the driver’s seat this time.

So what about you? Do you make resolutions or have goals and what are they?

Training Your Inner Monologue

Fiona Bryan — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 16:35:33 +0000

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they
become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your
habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your
destiny.”-Unknown.

2009 was a good year for me. I lost the rest of the babyweight (finally), I ran a half-marathon and I did a triathlon. For someone who doesn’t even really like to run, I call that crazy. I learned a lot in 2009. I learned about fear because apparently I fear open water swimming (and the prospect of sharks) and I learned about facing it (aka the jelly fish swimming right into my face). My husband ran right alongside me through all of it and we inspired each other to keep upping the ante. I learned I have strength.

In reflecting on 2009, like most people do, I started thinking about what’s in store for 2010. 2009 really surprised me, so what will 2010 be like? Will I fail? What will I accomplish? How will I change? What will I face? And then I ask myself the really deep questions like, will my skivvies fall out of my backpack and onto the floor in the middle of the gym again? (Hopefully not.)

One of my biggest demons, as I’ve known for quite some time, is my own head. My inner monologue. And how dire a seemingly innocuous situation can turn when those thoughts of mine become negative. Because negative self-talk is a downward spiral and it’s like quicksand.

I am a positive person and I still often fall victim to the negative self-talk and here’s how it happens. First, the negative thought enters your mind. Then, just because it’s there, you actually start to believe it (even if you didn’t at first!) Then, it follows through and becomes a reality.

The scary part is that if you’re not careful, the process begins all over again.

The negative self-talk can start by merely not being able to accept a compliment, something that I have struggled with myself. (“Oh, this old thing?”) Or questioning whether you can actually do something.

The minute I think about swimming in the open water and the fear I have surrounding it, I try to banish it. Because what inevitably follows is that I make the mistake of mentioning it to my swim partner, and now it’s out there. It’s tangible. And then because I’ve thought it and subsequently said it, I ultimately play the part and do not do well. And just so you know, panicking in the ocean is pretty much the worst thing you can do. (You know, on account of the possibility of drowning and all.)

But the key here is to listen to what your inner monologue is saying and see how often it speaks
to you negatively. Think about how often you question yourself in your head or say that you can’t do something (lose weight, win Powerball, move to a chalet in the Swiss Alps – not necessarily in that order). And then reverse the cycle by finding the positive, by highlighting your strengths in your mind instead of your weaknesses, and by using positive words in your mind. Write them down. Say them.

And then rinse and repeat.

Because 2010 is here. It’s a nice, fresh, new beginning, and a time to think about what you want to take with you from 2009 and what you want to leave in 2009 (like perhaps, a certain embarrassing skivvies situation).

What we are each capable of is entirely up to us and it all starts with our thoughts.

Goals vs Resolutions

Fiona Bryan — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 21:49:15 +0000

It’s January again, which means that everyone is talking about making New Year’s resolutions. Some of the most common resolutions are to lose weight, stop smoking, and make more money. While there’s lots of talk about achieving these goals, there’s less talk about how or what’s important about achieving them.

In my opinion, using the term resolution has a negative connotation since many of us abandon our New Year’s resolutions by February anyhow. I refer to my resolutions as goals, but I also take it one step further and redefine what that means.

Redefining Goals: What’s Really Important?
Ask yourself this question: What’s most important? Reaching the finish line or learning something from the journey?

Sometimes we get so caught up in the need to achieve our goals that we lose our focus or even ourselves along the way. Sure, being successful at something or being able to cross a goal off your list feels great, but sometimes what we learn from the process is more valuable. For instance, my goal of shedding those stubborn 15 pounds of leftover baby weight initially became a goal because I wanted to feel good about myself again. But as I’ve been working towards that, I’ve realized that even if I don’t get to that magic number, I’ve still achieved something. Becoming healthier and being a role model for my children, and even my husband, is equally, if not more important than looking great.

How Do We Achieve Our Goals?
The best way to achieve our goals is to start them when we feel motivated…NOW! Don’t wait until a future date to begin working towards something because the more we put something off, the less we feel motivated. And motivation is extremely important because it’s what keeps us focused on our goals. Without motivation, excuses start to creep in and before you know it, you’ve decided that your goals are no longer important.

Another key to achieving goals is to constantly reassess them. When you revisit your goals regularly, you may realize that you need to alter or make them more realistic. There’s nothing wrong with tweaking goals along the way, especially if it will help you achieve them.

You can read more of my thoughts about redefining resolutions on my blog, The (Un)Experienced Mom.

The Truth About Spinning Class

Fiona Bryan — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 09:37:55 +0000

If you ask me what workout I prefer to do, the answer is hands down spinning. If you had asked me this same question 10 years ago, there is no way I would have given that answer. My mom started spinning when it first came out in the 90’s, and when I joined her for class one Saturday in high school, I walked away from it swearing I’d never go to one again! To me, it was such hard work that it almost felt like a form of torture. But for some reason while in college, I decided to give it another try…and I fell in love with it.

I decided to write about spinning because there seems to be such a stigma attached to it. When I tell people I am a spinner, I hear comments like, “Are you crazy?! Spinning is hard!” and “There’s no way you could get me to a spin class.” These were the very comments I used to make before I knew the truth about spinning. I recently talked with a friend of mine who is a Les Mills and Schwinn certified spin instructor and asked her to answer questions about the class. I will of course give you my thoughts on the topic, but also wanted to give you facts about this amazing workout.

1. What are your recommendations for people who are intimidated to get into spin? Should they just attend a class, or even 1/2 a class to see what it’s like? What kinds of expectations should they have for their first time?
My recommendation is to just do it. It seems intimidating with the dimmed lights and the intensity, but I always tell someone just to get through their first class and take it at their own level. A good instructor will ALWAYS give lower intensity options so that a participant can scale it back until they are ready. It is your workout and as an instructor, we are there to motivate and moderate a class. We cannot control how hard you actually workout.

2. How long do you think it takes the average person to learn to like spin?
The average person should see and feel a difference after 5 classes. I always tell participants not to give up after their first attempt as it always seems the toughest after the first class. Within 5 classes, I guarantee the participant will even see a difference in their fitness level. Just stick with it!

3. Why is spin such a great workout?
Spinning involves heart rate training. A good instructor will lead a class by bringing their heart rate up to 90% of their maximum and not allowing it to drop below 70%. What does this mean? Anaerobic exercise + ideal fat burning = success!

4. Do you have to be a super-athlete to do spin classes?
As mentioned before, a good instructor will give options to the participants. You do not have to be a super-athlete to do a spin class, but if you commit to the work out, you will make yourself into an elite athlete.

5. What about the myth that spin bulks up your calves?
This is a myth. Not even strength or mountain climb types of rides will “bulk” you up. And there is no such thing as spot training [training one area of your body]. If anything, a spin class gives you a full body workout: drop your heels and you get your hamstrings; load your quads by doing a standing attack or climb; in the saddle work will lean out your legs. You are burning up to 700 calories in one hour of training. You will definitely NOT bulk up!

6. Any other tips for women who want to get into spin but are reluctant or scared, or any info on spin in general?

If you intend on participating in more than 2 spin classes a week, take a yoga/stretch/pilates class as well. The reason is that our hip flexors tend to tighten and you may get some injuries.
Hydrate throughout your ride which will prevent cramping and lactic acid build up in your legs.
Eat protein 30 minutes post workout, which will help with muscle recovery.
Wear proper attire; loose clothing is not recommended on a bike. If you intend on doing more than 2 classes per week, invest in bike shorts with padding and spin shoes. Spin shoes make all the difference in your workout and you will definitely feel the difference in your ride.
It’s a great prenatal and postnatal workout; ask your instructor for modified moves.
You can train your heart to work for you. Get a heart rate monitor. It’s a great investment (used not only for spin but for all activities – weights, aerobic classes, running).
Clear your mind! Focus on the ride and your goals. Every breath you take, you’re getting in shape, so just breathe.

I absolutely love spinning. When I am on the bike, I feel more relaxed than I do all week and at times can even zone out completely. It energizes me, pushes me to reach my highest potential, and still manages to challenge me to give that little bit extra I didn’t think I had left to give. After my first son was born, spin helped me lose those annoying 15 extra pounds very quickly while reshaping my body at the same time. If I could find the time to spin more than 2x/week, I would because it’s beneficial not only for my body, but also my mind and spirit.

Obviously not everyone will enjoy spinning, but for those of you who would like to try it, I hope this article has helped inspire you to attend a class. Yes, it’s hard work. Yes, you can feel intimidated by all of the spinning terminology and positions used on the bike. But my advice is to introduce yourself to the instructor when you walk into the class so that they can help you acclimate yourself to spinning slowly and comfortably. Take it at your own pace and don’t feel you have to compete with the more experienced participants; this will only leave you disappointed and convinced spinning is too hard. Even if you stay in the saddle (i.e. on the seat) the entire ride, you’re one step closer to becoming a spinner. And besides, who ever said exercise should be easy?

I would love to hear your thoughts on or experiences with spinning!

And don’t forget to stop by my blog, The (Un)Experienced Mom, to read more of my musings on motherhood and life.

10 Best Holiday Gifts from the Heart

Fiona Bryan — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 09:20:23 +0000

It’s Christmas Eve eve. Santa is making his list and checking it twice. You are also checking your list and everyone is done, except that one person, right?

There is always someone who you just can’t shop for at Target or Best Buy because maybe that someone has everything already. Or maybe you are plum out of Christmas gift cash, or maybe you can’t find a gift from a store that holds the sentiment you want to express.

Either way…it’s not too late to do a little brainstorming to find the best gift from the heart. Yes, from the heart.

After all, those are the gifts that are most treasured and remembered for years to come. I’ve compiled a list of the 10 best gifts from the heart, for you, in case you are suffering from a prechristmaschaositis, a common condition many people experience during the craze of the holidays!

I hope these ideas help you to find that special gift for that special someone.

The Gift of Life. Do you and your spouse want a baby but have been holding back because the timing never seems right? Well, the timing will probably never be right. Life is short and tomorrow is not a guarantee so stop fanatically putting your ducks in a row…and just do it! Your spouse will be relieved that someone is just making a decision already. On Christmas morning, hand your spouse a little note…letting her know you are giving her…the gift of life.
The Gift of Service. Do you have a friend or relative who just needs a hand! Offer to help with something…maybe babysitting, mowing the lawn, running an errand. Let them know in a sweet holiday card followed by a verbal confirmation so they know you mean it!
The Gift of Friendship. Do you know someone who could use a friend? Maybe someone who doesn’t have family to spend the holidays with or maybe someone who could use a bud to get a cup of coffee with? Befriend someone. It will make someone’s day, and probably yours as well.
The Gift of Listening. Has someone been trying to get your attention? Have you been too busy to really listen? Why don’t you offer to spend some private, quality time with this person. And just listen.
The Gift of Love. I’m really referring to sex here but didn’t want to be dirty. Life gets sooo busy and it’s the love-makin’ that often gets the backseat (no pun intended) to other priorities. No better time, like the present. Give your hubby a little IOU, wrapped up in a big box…that would be kinda cute and funny (unless he’s expecting a flat screen tv or something).
The Gift of Laughter. Laughing adds minutes to our life. Do you know someone who could use a good laugh? Do you know any good jokes or stories? Perhaps and old inside joke? Put it down on a handmade Christmas card, and be there when you give it to him or her.
The Gift of Wisdom. We can all use a little wisdom from time to time. Offer a helpful thought or insight to someone you care about.
The Gift of Relaxation. You can get creative with this one, just depends on who the recipient is…offer your spouse a neck massage or a 1 hour hot bubble bath with a glass of wine. Or even offer your babysitting service to a friend so she can get her nails done.
The Gift of Food. Sugar cookies, pecan pie, 7 layer bars or even the whole holiday meal…whatever you have time for! Everyone likes food, but not everyone has time to prepare it…give the gift of food and you are guaranteed a smile.
The Gift of You. This can be anything. Be a better spouse, propose to your girlfriend, visit your grandmother in the hospital, make amends with your estranged parent (if they deserve it). Giving yourself to someone who loves you, is the best gift you can give.

No excuses now…none of these gifts cost anything but your heart (and maybe a little time)! Good luck with your brainstorming…I know you can do it! Happy holidays to you and your loved ones…and remember the best gifts are the ones from the heart!

Oh and btw…the super cute Santa holding that little baby is my hubby. That’s not our baby though, but that’s the gift I want most!

Please stop by and visit me anytime at The Pursuit of Mommyness!

Motherhood is Hazardous To Your Health

Fiona Bryan — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 23:23:26 +0000

Ok, so that’s a gross exaggeration, but motherhood is definitely a tough job. It has the ability to make you a stronger person, both physically and mentally, but can be a bumpy ride along the way.

Let’s think about it. You get pregnant and endure enormous physical changes such as shifting organs and expanding skin. Then you go through labor, which is so painful it often requires you to numb your body just to get through it, no matter whether you’re pushing or the baby exits through the “trap door.” Then there’s the emotional roller coaster otherwise known as the regulation of hormones, which isn’t so much hazardous to us as it is to our husbands! Next we have to learn to carry around a child that is getting bigger and heavier by the day (and sometimes seemingly by the hour). In addition to carrying the baby, we have to lug around heavy baby gear, such as car seats, strollers, and diaper bags filled to the brink. (I swear baby product manufacturers are making these products heavier every year, too). And for many of us, just when our body has gotten through that exhausting cycle, we start the cycle over again with another pregnancy! Therefore our body never seems to get a break or at least not for a good few years.

What prompted me to write this post was my visit to the doctor last month as my neck and shoulders had been aching and sore for a couple of weeks. While much of the cause is the cumulation of stress from the past 12 months (i.e. ovarian surgery while pregnant, pregnancy, and a postpartum depression episode), the physical stresses on the body that I just mentioned only exacerbated the problem. One painful back adjustment and deep tissue massage later and I am on my way back to having a body that doesn’t feel like it’s 90 years old. And while I know having a 2 year old and 3 month old will continue to require me to subject my body to more physical stress, it’s nothing that another 4-5 more adjustments can’t fix I guess!

This mother job not only requires the patience of a saint and mental capacity of a Mensa member, but it also apparently requires the physical strength of an Iron Man participant. Honestly, some days I feel like I don’t have any of those strengths, let alone all three. Being a mother taxes both your body and mind, but if the saying is true, then what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, right?

The Power of a Smile

Fiona Bryan — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:37:58 +0000

This weekend my mother and I went to afternoon tea.

We skipped the holiday hustle and bustle and we went to a little tea room that made us feel as if we were a world away. It was painted on the inside as an English garden, complete with sky, clouds, and a gazebo where my mother and I sat. We had a nice view of a painted pasture. All we needed was a little wind and maybe a bird and we would have, indeed, thought we were outside.

For a couple of hours, we reconnected. We did what we do best: we talked. And talked. And we talked some more. And we took down two pots of Cherry Caramel tea.

We closed the place down.

The owners, who were a mother and a daughter just a little older than us, began to clean up. The daughter waited on us and I hadn’t seen her mother until she came out and started to take the linens off the tables.

She was a short, petite woman with shoulder-length brown, wavy hair. Her face was drawn and hardened and with her olive skin, appeared statuesque. At first, she intimidated me. She didn’t look happy as she went about her work, clearing tables and folding linens, and I found myself sitting at my table watching her, wishing I knew what her day was like.

My mother and I have always dreamed of owning a tea room together, of coming in early in the morning and turning on the radio in the kitchen, singing and dancing while we baked away and talked about new recipes and what my crazy toddlers were up to. I envied this woman for making our dream come true with her daughter.

I continued to watch her going from table to table with a stoic expression and then she turned toward me and our eyes met.

She smiled at me as if she recognized me even though I knew she really didn’t and I smiled back.

What struck me most was how, with one smile, her entire face had changed. She had softened. With one smile, she was unlike anything I had thought while I watched her work. With one smile, her entire personality on the outside was entirely transformed. With one smile, my perception of her had changed, and so too, had the mood of the room. It was no longer cold and intimidating. It, like her face, became soft and welcoming and comfortable. I felt ashamed for thinking what I had thought about her and I was so pleasantly surprised inside to see such a wonderful, glowing, happy mother smiling back at me. She told me her entire life’s story with just one smile.

How interesting that an entire climate could change with one smile. How the outcome of an entire experience or entire day can change with just one smile.

How one little tiny expression can say so much.

How often we go about our day to day, stuck in our own minds, our own worlds, our own agendas, without acknowledging the people around us all doing the same. Serious, solemn expressions and looks of concern on the outside, which may not even be what’s going on in the inside at all!

There is just something wonderful about a smile. How it literally, physically, softens someone’s face and makes it just so beautiful. How it can take years off a person’s face and how layers of troubles and worry and concern can just melt away with a smile. How a smile can make a person who seems so unapproachable and “Closed for Business”, so open.

I realized from her smile that I forget to do it myself. All the time. Especially during the holiday season when I’m supposed to be the cheeriest, and instead I find myself stuck in the house with two sick children, behind in my cleaning, shopping, exercising and everything else in my life and so overwhelmed that I don’t even remember, let alone make the time, to smile.

One simple little gesture that can lift the moods of my children, my husband, even the sales clerk who refuses to double check a price for me. And more importantly, myself.

Even if, like me, you can’t keep up with the holidays, you worry about being able to afford all the gifts and the bills, you worry about the health of your families and you find yourself overwhelmed, try to remember to do one small thing. Smile. It doesn’t cost a thing and for even just a moment, a smile makes everything okay. It can change someone’s day, someone’s week, or someone’s life. Maybe even your own. And it’s so worth it.

For the first time this weekend, I was lucky enough to witness it. The power of just one smile.

10 Ways to Enjoy the Holidays and Health

Fiona Bryan — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 22:50:50 +0000

With the holidays upon us I wanted to take some time to talk about the effects that this busy time of year can have on our health. It is tempting to push yourself with the amount of activity on the calendar this time of year. Here are a few tips for taking care of yourself while still enjoying this joyful time of year.

Pace yourself. It is not wise to plan several events in one day, especially if you don’t allot any time for rest in between. It is better to attend a few get togethers and truly enjoy yourself than attend many and end up feeling yucky!
Remember to maintain a healthy diet. Pigs in a blanket and eggnog do not a healthy diet make! Certain medications need you to maintain your intake for your body to metabolize them properly (such as anti-coagulants). So, don’t forget to eat and when you do eat, try to keep the foods as nutritious as possible.
Be careful with alcohol, especially if it is contraindicated with any of your medications. Even if it doesn’t interfere with any meds, alcohol can impair your balance. So again, be careful!
Take a nap. Even if it is just for 15-30 minutes it allows your body to re-energize. You will feel better physically and mentally.
Take time to enjoy the little things this holiday season. There are a lot of ways that limitations may affect your holidays but there is so much more to be thankful for so focus on the positive!
Do a lot of your shopping online. This avoids exposing yourself to the crowds at the malls (and the germs if you are immuno-compromised) and allows you to save your energy for spending time with family and friends.
Keep it simple. If you are entertaining or participating in holiday events, resist the urge to go all out, thus exhausting yourself. Your guests are coming to spend time with you. So, if that means sticking a frozen lasagna in the oven leaves you feeling up to visiting and enjoying your company, that is just fine!
Get some sunlight. Being indoors too much limits your Vitamin D intake. Vitamin D is not only good for your mental health but your neurological health as well. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a risk this year, especially for those of us cooped up. Ways to avoid this are to spend time doing things you enjoy, with people you enjoy and to get outdoors when you can.
Laugh! Laughter is awesome medicine and the holidays are usually full of opportunities to laugh at others and yourself (in a nice way of course:-)
Remember the true reason for the season. The birth of Christ, being thankful and making goals for the new year that is almost upon us. The world is about so much more than just us- so reach out and help someone less fortunate. That will always make you feel better!