Category Archives: MomME

If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! Indulge and enjoy … Moms must take care of themselves in order to nurture others.

Sex Does a Body Good!

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Today we welcome Kelly Loubet from Childhoodclothing.com!

Sex_Toys_LE0568_1-1

Sex… for some of us… that word alone is enough to make us blush. For others… it ain’t no thing chicken wing. The reality of it is… whether it’s with that special someone or all alone in the bath tub… sex is an important and healthy part of our lives.

Not only does sex sometimes provide partnership… sex does a body good in many ways! I had no idea that there were so many benefits beyond… well… stress relief for one. Stress relief is a benefit of healthy sex! I knew that… anyone that’s had “it’s been a crappy day” sex knows that! Let me list some of the more interesting ones I found. (Thanks Web M.D.!)

Sex boosts your immunity. Having sex a couple times a week increases the antibody Immunoglobin A, which helps you fight colds and infections! Who knew!?

Sex burns calories. I knew this… but it’s still fun! Did you know that 30 minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more? Get to it!

Sex boosts your self esteem. Great sex makes you feel like a rock star. If you already felt like you were amazing before… having sex only makes you feel better.

Sex eases pain. While having a sexual encounter… endorphins are flowing and the hormone oxytocin is released. Oxytocin is responsible for that warm, fuzzy, “nothing could ruin this moment” type feeling. You know.. that feeling you get after you… um… finish?

Sex helps you sleep better. That same oxytocin that’s released during the big “O” is also responsible for  making us feel sleepy. Healthy sleep habits promote weight loss and help to control blood pressure.

I was given the opportunity to test drive an amazing little product from Eden Fantasys recently. I was looking for something beyond the standard vibrating… uh… dildo? (I can’t believe I just said “dildo”) I wanted to try something new and fun! The lovely Nicole Ibarrondo, marketing extraordinaire, took some time to discuss with me what my * cough * needs were. Together, we decided on this little beauty: The Nea.

When I first opened the package, I was surprised to find an elegant black box. I’ll admit… I was expecting something trashy! The Nea is so far from trashy! Inside the jewelry like box was the Nea, a charger, an instruction booklet, and a sweet little travel bag. I travel a lot… I knew that I could get through airport security unembarrassed with my Nea. Yes… I have been stopped in possession of a less discreet item.

Holding it is almost like holding a computer mouse… only smaller. It’s contoured to hit all of your external hot spots. I find that the Nea is best used for direct clitoral contact. (I totally said that without blushing) The two buttons on the bottom control the speed of the vibration and the pulse modes. There are FIVE pulse modes and let me tell you that each one is well… perfect… no matter what your mood. Not only that… but the Nea is quiet! It’s nearly silent!

My favorite part about the Nea is the fact that it’s re-chargable. That’s right! No more stealing batteries from the T.V. remote just to get your kicks. I bet you want one now… Well Eden Fantasys is giving away a $25 gift certificate toward the purchase of your choice so check out Childhoodclothing.com to enter the giveaway!

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Measuring Weight Loss Success

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weight measureMany of us chose to work out to lose weight as our New Year’s  Resolution. However, that darn scale is not moving in the direction we want it to… don’t let the scale win over. There are more ways to measure success that we can use to our advantage.

First, let’s use that tape measure. Sometimes, we’ll start losing inches before that number on the scale starts moving in the right direction. Keep track of those problem areas and enjoy those losses. In my case, hips and thighs are measurements I always track.

Another way to measure success is by measuring body fat percentage. There are numerous websites, like this one,  that help you calculate your body fat. Now, there are many ways to get to this number and many variables to make it change at any given minute. However, keeping track of body fat percentage can be rewarding.  As with that number on the scale, all I look for from this number is a downward trend.

Last but not least, take pictures. You decide who sees it.  Every week or month – you decide the frequency – I take pictures, front, side, back. Seeing your body change can be a great motivator to continue to exercise.

No matter what measuring tool you use keep your resolutions and goals in mind and keep plugging along.

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5 Important Foods

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dark chocolateWhen living with a chronic illness so much is out of our (the patient) control.  However, our diet is something we can control.  There are some foods that can have a positive impact on your health and I wanted to share five of them with you today.

  1. dark chocolate- as if I needed an excuse, right?  But you can eat a small piece of dark chocolate daily, with no guilt, as research has shown dark chocolate lowers blood pressure and contains antioxidants.
  2. squash- I personally love zucchini but any type of squash is high in fiber.  Side effects of many of the medications we take for chronic pain, etc. can cause constipation so eating a diet high in fiber is a must!
  3. nuts- particularly almonds and other nuts low in saturated fat.  Nuts are good for so many things…cognitive clarity, eye sight and more.  They are also a low calorie, filling snack food.  Nuts are rich in Omega-3 fatty acids which regulate hormones and mood as well as reduce inflammation in the body.
  4. dairy- a diet that includes calcium rich foods including yogurt, milk and more is good for you on many levels.  Dairy products, specifically milk, contain Vitamin D.  Many people (including myself) are deficient in this vital vitamin and such a deficiency can lead to many problems, including neurological difficulties.Vitamin D and calcium also decrease the symptoms of PMS!
  5. Carrots- Bugs Bunny must have known something researchers of his time didn’t.  Carrots are full of dietary benefits.  Lots of fiber, protection against colon cancer and help for the eyesight.  What can’t a carrot do?

There are many more important foods to include in our diet that we will discuss in the upcoming weeks.  Do you have a favorite “important” food?  Feel free to share in the comments!

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The Mommyhood Balancing Act (Part 2)

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bigcomputermomLast week, I wrote about my need to find balance again in life. This week’s post will focus on how to achieve that.

Once I realized that things were out of control, I began making an action plan to regain it. But in order to create this plan, I had to better understand what needed to change. Here are a list of questions I found helpful that you may consider asking yourself:

Children:
When you spend time with your kids, is it truly quality time? Are you there physically, but somewhere else mentally? By establishing special play times when you can give them your full attention, this might help them feel like they are being paid attention to instead of being in the way.  Our kids are very good at knowing when we want to spend time with them versus when we have to spend time with them. If you are a stay-at-home mom, do you find that you feel like being with the kids all day is a drag sometimes? Try and remind yourself why you became a mother and encourage yourself not to get swept up in the stresses.

Spouse/Significant Other
Do you set a standard date night at least once a month? Is there one night a week to truly catch up, spend time together, and enjoy each other’s company? Do you take a second once in awhile to remember just why you married him/her? All of these things get easily pushed aside and instantly have an effect on your relationship. The truth is that this relationship is the most important to maintain/nourish because it sets the tone for the family and an example for your kids.

Work
Do you bring your outside work home with you? Do you let your work-at-home tasks take over your mind, making you unable to do much else when you’re in the house? Do you try to multi-task all the time, therefore keeping you from doing any one thing well? If you’re like me, you find yourself trying to get work (in my case, blogging) done on and off all day long. Unfortunately, this is the first thing that throws my life out of balance because it spills over onto so many other important tasks, such as spending time with family.  Try and create a specific time for work tasks and stick to it.

Mommy Time
Do you carve out at least an hour or two a week to exercise, de-stress, or meditate? Do you have hobbies that encourage relaxation or fun outside of the family? Are you desperate to create time that is spent focusing only on you? What other tasks during the week can be moved down on the list in order to make this happen? We need to remember that even though everything else feels more important, if we aren’t feeling whole, this will negatively effect every other area of the family/life.

Action Plan
Use the above questions to brainstorm what needs to change in order to regain balance. By exploring them, you may find things are not as chaotic as you thought or you may realize that an action plan is way overdue. If it’s helpful, write your action plan out with specific steps on how you are going achieve these changes. Set a realistic timeframe and reassess often.

And once you’ve achieved balance in life again, look back and acknowledge all of the hard work you’ve done to get there!

You can read more of my thoughts on balancing motherhood and other random ramblings at The (Un)Experienced Mom.

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Top 5 Reasons to Exercise

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  1. Walking has been shown to boost immunity in fact lower the number of sick days, this was reported this week by The Appalachian State university. Walking 45 minutes 5 days a week was all it took for the effect.
  2. It decreases your risk of cancer, a study done in 2560 Finnish men followed for 16 years found that men who were moderately active for 30 min a day had 50% less chance of developing cancer.
  3. It helps you get a better nights sleep and evidence shows that good sleep is vital for maintaining a healthy weight.
  4. It helps keep blood sugars in check, in fact if you have type 2 diabetes exercise is a wonderful tool to keep your blood sugars under control.
  5. Its fun and can be a great family activity, playing tennis together, going to the pool, skiiing, dancing around the house!

References:

  1. http://www.chowandchatter.com/2009/07/your-daily-workout-can-decrease-your.html
  2. http://edition.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/diet.fitness/06/20/hb.exercise.benefits/index.html
  3. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704350304574638331243027174.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_MIDDLENexttoWhatsNewsThird
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The Mommyhood Balancing Act (Part 1)

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balancing motherhood

I’ve recently noticed that my life has become unbalanced and I desperately need to regain it. The good thing is that I am pretty sure that I am not alone in this thought. The bad thing is that there is no equation that tells us exactly how to achieve balance. This two-part series will touch on what we need to consider and how we can find our way back to a better-balanced lifestyle.

What are the areas in life we need to balance?

Children
Being a mom means being “on” 100% of the time. Even if we aren’t physically with the kids, we are with them mentally, so it’s no wonder we are exhausted much of the time. And it’s no wonder that we find it hard to fit much else in. Especially when you are a stay-at-home mom, you start to feel like all you ever do is spend time with your kids. So how do we find time for our kids without ignoring the time we need for our own wants and needs?

Spouses/Significant Other
This relationship is the first to become unbalanced. Since the children need so much of our attention and time, that tends to eat into the time we used to set aside for our spouse. Evening cuddle time turns into “Since we’re so tired, let’s just go to bed” or, if you still have little kids, “I’ll see you after I feed the baby and put him to sleep” (by which time, you’re both too tired anyhow). So how do we put this relationship higher on our priority list when there are so many things already so high on the list?

Work
Whether this is working outside or inside of the home, or working on your hobby, blogging, this is one of the toughest areas to find time for. Since I started blogging, I have found that it can take up a lot of time. And with only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week, the time I set aside for blogging often overlaps other tasks. Unfortunately, if our work is at home, it’s very hard to balance spending time with kids and actually achieving something work-related. If you’re like me, you find yourself working on things in 5-minute increments, which means it takes forever to finish something. So how do we carve out time to be productive, even if we only have short periods of time in which to work?

Mommy Time
This is the thing that often gets pushed to the very bottom of the list; so far down that you have to squint to see it. However, many moms claim that if they get a little bit of personal time weekly, they are much happier moms, which in turn means for a happier family. Whether it’s working out, spending time with friends, reading a book, or something else you enjoy, finding our own personal time needs to be more of a priority. So how do we find even a small chunk of time for this when we are already overscheduled in our lives?

The 2nd part in this series will look at what questions we need to ask ourselves in order to create an action plan to get back to a balanced life.

You can find more of my thoughts on the difficult task of balancing motherhood at my blog, The (Un)Experienced Mom.

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Learn How this Mompreneur Built a Business from a Love Letter!

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Nothing puts a smile on your face, like getting a love letter.  And apparently no one knew this better than Linda, wife, mother and founder/ owner of Kind Notes, a successful mompreneur business that sells decorative jars filled with customizable kind notes.

Her imaginative idea came to her a few years ago when she wanted to send her boyfriend (now husband) a love letter for each day he was away, but thought a daily love letter might be a bit much.  So instead she sent him short and sweet little notes, a new one for each day.

Linda’s hubby really enjoyed reading a new note each day.  It wasn’t long after that, Linda realized that other people might also enjoy the warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from starting a new day with a special, little note from someone who loves them. She also thought people might appreciate a business that sells these kind notes already packaged elegantly for them.

She was right.

Linda-Kindnotes

Below is my interview this lovely mompreneur.  She talks about her biz, how it started, where it is now and how she manages this successful company that sells worldwide while putting her family first!  If you are a budding mompreneur looking for a little inspiration…then grab a cup of coffee and read on…

1.) What is your business? Please describe in detail.

We exclusively manufacture customizable jars of messages enclosed in mini decorative envelopes, to be opened each day. Words of inspiration, love or thanks, or even a fond memory, these 31 notes will send a smile to the recipient.  KindNotes has been said by many to be a unique gift that is expressive and meaningful, suitable for any occasion and everyone, especially for those who have everything.

You may choose from a variety of collections or add your personal touch by customizing your KindNotes® in five quick and easy steps with an interactive wizard, selecting the container, filling, ribbon, envelope design, and message options (A. Choose from our library of more than 500 messages; B. Request blank papers; C. Request your personalized messages to be handwritten for you).

Each order is completely assembled and put together according to the customization so that you don’t have to do a thing, from your messages being folded and stuffed into each envelope, to their very presentation inside the container.

Our products are made with high quality materials and are finely crafted to be treasured and reopened year after year.

2.) Is it a local, national or int’l business?

We offer our products and services worldwide.

3.) Who is your target market?

Our market consists of both men and women between the ages of 18-65.

4.) What made you decide to go into business for yourself?

I made the first version of KindNotes for my then-boyfriend-now-husband several years ago. I thought about the pleasant feeling of receiving a personal letter in the mail each day, but soon-after thought the long letters might just scare him away so I wrote 31 short notes onto small pieces of paper, stuffed them into plain miniature envelopes and put them in an embellished jar. My husband then began each day with a note that made him smile.

Several years later, we decided to share the idea and make it available to everyone, knowing that people have no time, have trouble thinking of unique gifts, or have a difficult time expressing their thoughts. It’s a great way to spread kindness!

5.) What made you decide on this particular business?

I’ve always liked crafting meaningful gifts and my husband loved opening the notes each morning – if he liked it that much, why not share the idea with others and provide a service to hand-make it for them? It was worth a try and soon proved to be a great decision.

6.) How long have you been working at it now?

It’s been about 3 years.

7.) Are you working to supplement household income or replace your previous full time income? Or just as an outlet for yourself?

It’s truly rewarding to know that people out there are beginning each day with a smile. Even if it requires a good amount of time to make the KindNotes according to each customization, we make sure that our prices are affordable and reasonable. It’s worth it to know that our products help spread kindness to others.

8.) How many kids do you have or planning to have?

I have a 5-month-old son, Preston.

9.)If you currently have kids, describe in detail how you manage your kids, husband, home and business?

There is so much to do in a day that I sometimes stare blankly across the room, not knowing how or where to start. Luckily it lasts for only half a minute and I move forward with tackling my list of priorities. I always manage to keep a balanced schedule and make time to spend with my family. Making to-do lists and prioritizing are key.

10.) What are your future plans for the business and home life?

We keep our inventory fresh with new product releases throughout the year. We continuously look for ways to improve our products/services and hope to grow our marketing efforts for 2010. As for home life, I plan to keep my family close no matter how busy I become, giving my son the love and attention he needs.

11.) What is your best weapon against the stress of managing business and home?

If my mind is occupied with too many things that are causing me to become stressed, I remind myself “one thing at a time” and do the next most important thing on my list. My other favorite reminder is, “Be thankful for what you have”.

12.) Do you have any advice/tips on becoming successful as a mompreneur?

When I was younger, I would always hear the adults say “Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it”. Now I know that this is a true piece of advice. If you feel strongly about something, just do it. If you turn out to be wrong, you’ll learn from it and move on to better opportunities.

Any additional thoughts?

**We offer envelopes/papers sold separately for those who want to make their own KindNotes – this saves them a lot of time. Strips of paper alone can be used but enclosing them in envelopes make it more exciting for the recipient to open and the presentation of the jar looks even better with the decorative envelopes.**

**We offer all troops an additional 20% off to help them stay connected with their family. They would need to request their discount code by emailing us at info@kindnotes.com using their military email address.**

Here are several ways to connect with us:

info@kindnotes.com

www.kindnotes.com

www.blog.kindnotes.com

www.twitter.com/kindnotes

Thanks so much for your time Linda!  Blessings to you and your family in 2010!  For more great mompreneur stories, check out Featured Mompreneur at The Pursuit of Mommyness!

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The Tale of a Resolution

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A couple years ago I made a New Year’s resolution. It was to stop making New Year’s resolutions.

Like the gaggles of people before me, I had resolved time and time again to lose weight. Because every January first, this time was different.

But was it?

No. It would turn into February and even though I was so “Gung Ho!” on January 1st and joined the millions of others flocking to the gym in January, my motivation eventually waned within weeks and my poor little resolution crumpled. Oh, it was a sad state.

One year, instead, I began to make goals. January 1st was as good a time as any to wipe the slate clean. To reflect at the previous year, learn from mistakes, make new goals and move forward.

So what’s so different about a goal, anyway, and why did that seem to work instead? In the dictionary, “resolution” means, “A formal expression of opinion or intention made.” Or, “A resolving to do something.” Whereas, “goal” means, “The result or achievement toward which effort is directed.”

Where the fatal flaw in my whole “losing weight” scheme was that I was basically standing up, putting my finger up in the air and declaring to the world in my loudest voice, “This year I’m losing weight!”

Which would be all fine and good, but the words “losing weight” are such a blanket statement that I would just begin pounding away at the gym and “dieting” with very little results. Which in hindsight made sense because honestly, I wasn’t sure what the end goal was anyway! I failed to answer some very important questions in my declaration; questions that would point me to a specific goal and a road to get there.

What was my BMI? What was a healthy BMI? What exactly should I be doing at the gym to achieve this? Cardio? Weights? Some combination? Was I making conscious decisions daily about my health? Why was I going into the gym and doing weights but nothing was happening? How was I going to eat? You mean skipping meals isn’t a form of calorie counting?

What would come along with my resolution-wrecking would be the guilt of failing, the feeling of being overwhelmed and not knowing where to start, and of course, in the end, still being overweight. Square one. Year after year. And I finally decided that resolutions just didn’t work for me.

The year I resolved to stop making resolutions (and making my own head hurt!), I began to look at weight-loss as the big picture (no pun intended) and break up the big picture into smaller, individual goals. Not only did the smaller goals look less overwhelming, they actually looked achieveable!

  • Instead of looking at my weight-loss goal in one giant number, like, say 50 pounds, I broke it up into 10 pound increments and focused on just those 10. Having to lose 10 pounds takes a lot less time than 50, and plus it gave me a focus. What I found that when I was getting close to my 10 pound “mini-goal”, it would make me work that much harder because I was about to see a whole new “decade” of numbers!
  • A ten pound loss meant a pants size! Which coincidentally meant shopping…(a nice reward!)
  • Quicker results meant continued motivation. By breaking up my bigger goal into smaller, more achievable ones, I was constantly being refreshed by new motivation.
  • Reaching more goals meant more rewards for me! I like a system based on rewards…

Meeting all the little goals eventually meant that the starting point was eventually further away than the finish line. And what became even more valuable was the journey itself. And rather than another failed resolution, I was finally meeting my goal. I was in the driver’s seat this time.

So what about you? Do you make resolutions or have goals and what are they?

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Training Your Inner Monologue

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sunrays“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they
become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your
habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your
destiny.”-Unknown.

2009 was a good year for me. I lost the rest of the babyweight (finally), I ran a half-marathon and I did a triathlon. For someone who doesn’t even really like to run, I call that crazy. I learned a lot in 2009. I learned about fear because apparently I fear open water swimming (and the prospect of sharks) and I learned about facing it (aka the jelly fish swimming right into my face). My husband ran right alongside me through all of it and we inspired each other to keep upping the ante. I learned I have strength.

In reflecting on 2009, like most people do, I started thinking about what’s in store for 2010. 2009 really surprised me, so what will 2010 be like? Will I fail? What will I accomplish? How will I change? What will I face? And then I ask myself the really deep questions like, will my skivvies fall out of my backpack and onto the floor in the middle of the gym again? (Hopefully not.)

One of my biggest demons, as I’ve known for quite some time, is my own head. My inner monologue. And how dire a seemingly innocuous situation can turn when those thoughts of mine become negative. Because negative self-talk is a downward spiral and it’s like quicksand.

I am a positive person and I still often fall victim to the negative self-talk and here’s how it happens. First, the negative thought enters your mind. Then, just because it’s there, you actually start to believe it (even if you didn’t at first!) Then, it follows through and becomes a reality.

The scary part is that if you’re not careful, the process begins all over again.

The negative self-talk can start by merely not being able to accept a compliment, something that I have struggled with myself. (“Oh, this old thing?”) Or questioning whether you can actually do something.

The minute I think about swimming in the open water and the fear I have surrounding it, I try to banish it. Because what inevitably follows is that I make the mistake of mentioning it to my swim partner, and now it’s out there. It’s tangible. And then because I’ve thought it and subsequently said it, I ultimately play the part and do not do well. And just so you know, panicking in the ocean is pretty much the worst thing you can do. (You know, on account of the possibility of drowning and all.)

But the key here is to listen to what your inner monologue is saying and see how often it speaks
to you negatively. Think about how often you question yourself in your head or say that you can’t do something (lose weight, win Powerball, move to a chalet in the Swiss Alps – not necessarily in that order). And then reverse the cycle by finding the positive, by highlighting your strengths in your mind instead of your weaknesses, and by using positive words in your mind. Write them down. Say them.

And then rinse and repeat.

Because 2010 is here. It’s a nice, fresh, new beginning, and a time to think about what you want to take with you from 2009 and what you want to leave in 2009 (like perhaps, a certain embarrassing skivvies situation).

What we are each capable of is entirely up to us and it all starts with our thoughts.

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Goals vs Resolutions

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It’s January again, which means that everyone is talking about making New Year’s resolutions. Some of the most common resolutions are to lose weight, stop smoking, and make more money. While there’s lots of talk about achieving these goals, there’s less talk about how or what’s important about achieving them.

In my opinion, using the term resolution has a negative connotation since many of us abandon our New Year’s resolutions by February anyhow. I refer to my resolutions as goals, but I also take it one step further and redefine what that means.

Redefining Goals: What’s Really Important?
Ask yourself this question: What’s most important? Reaching the finish line or learning something from the journey?

Sometimes we get so caught up in the need to achieve our goals that we lose our focus or even ourselves along the way. Sure, being successful at something or being able to cross a goal off your list feels great, but sometimes what we learn from the process is more valuable. For instance, my goal of shedding those stubborn 15 pounds of leftover baby weight initially became a goal because I wanted to feel good about myself again. But as I’ve been working towards that, I’ve realized that even if I don’t get to that magic number, I’ve still achieved something. Becoming healthier and being a role model for my children, and even my husband, is equally, if not more important than looking great.

How Do We Achieve Our Goals?
The best way to achieve our goals is to start them when we feel motivated…NOW! Don’t wait until a future date to begin working towards something because the more we put something off, the less we feel motivated. And motivation is extremely important because it’s what keeps us focused on our goals. Without motivation, excuses start to creep in and before you know it, you’ve decided that your goals are no longer important.

Another key to achieving goals is to constantly reassess them. When you revisit your goals regularly, you may realize that you need to alter or make them more realistic. There’s nothing wrong with tweaking goals along the way, especially if it will help you achieve them.

You can read more of my thoughts about redefining resolutions on my blog,  The (Un)Experienced Mom.

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