Healthy Habits – Start Young!

photo_8409_20090922Healthy children are healthy because of the practices of their parents. However, healthy children don’t always grow into healthy adults. As humans, we are creatures of habit… Emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, and physical health all tie into the development of healthy habits. Many parents tend to do so much for their children that they inadvertently prevent their children from developing good habits themselves.

As parents, personally living a life full of healthy habits is essential because our children learn a great deal from watching us – example is a major educator for children! To take the example we set and transform it into a course of action habitually executed by our kids requires conditioning them to make good decisions regarding things that directly influence or affect their health. Here are a few tips to aid you in assisting your child in developing health-conscious habits:

  1. Rather than providing only healthy options to your children, start presenting them with several options and allowing them to choose for themselves. If they make an unhealthy selection, explain to them why the alternative is better for them. This helps them to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy as well as why making good choices for themselves is important.
  2. Purposely set good examples for them. Go out of your way to ensure that they actually see you make healthy decisions. This will provide you with a great point of reference for discussions with your child later.
  3. Don’t make a huge deal about it when your child doesn’t make good decisions unless the situation warrants a major scene {like if your child exhibits actions that could potentially be detrimental to themselves or someone else}. However, go overboard with kudos when they make the right choices. Getting much more attention when they do something positive encourages them to continue doing so.
  4. Be sure to recognize things they may not even think about. When they react calmly to a situation that you know upset them, let your children know you noticed how well they processed their emotions. Make them proud to possess a high level of emotional strength! If they choose a banana over a piece of chocolate… or commend them for remembering each night to say their prayers on their own… Give them subtle encouragement to continue doing things to develop positive habits which contribute to their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

Comment and let us know:

What ways do YOU help your children develop healthy habits they will carry throughout their lives?

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Training Your Inner Monologue

sunrays“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they
become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your
habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your
destiny.”-Unknown.

2009 was a good year for me. I lost the rest of the babyweight (finally), I ran a half-marathon and I did a triathlon. For someone who doesn’t even really like to run, I call that crazy. I learned a lot in 2009. I learned about fear because apparently I fear open water swimming (and the prospect of sharks) and I learned about facing it (aka the jelly fish swimming right into my face). My husband ran right alongside me through all of it and we inspired each other to keep upping the ante. I learned I have strength.

In reflecting on 2009, like most people do, I started thinking about what’s in store for 2010. 2009 really surprised me, so what will 2010 be like? Will I fail? What will I accomplish? How will I change? What will I face? And then I ask myself the really deep questions like, will my skivvies fall out of my backpack and onto the floor in the middle of the gym again? (Hopefully not.)

One of my biggest demons, as I’ve known for quite some time, is my own head. My inner monologue. And how dire a seemingly innocuous situation can turn when those thoughts of mine become negative. Because negative self-talk is a downward spiral and it’s like quicksand.

I am a positive person and I still often fall victim to the negative self-talk and here’s how it happens. First, the negative thought enters your mind. Then, just because it’s there, you actually start to believe it (even if you didn’t at first!) Then, it follows through and becomes a reality.

The scary part is that if you’re not careful, the process begins all over again.

The negative self-talk can start by merely not being able to accept a compliment, something that I have struggled with myself. (“Oh, this old thing?”) Or questioning whether you can actually do something.

The minute I think about swimming in the open water and the fear I have surrounding it, I try to banish it. Because what inevitably follows is that I make the mistake of mentioning it to my swim partner, and now it’s out there. It’s tangible. And then because I’ve thought it and subsequently said it, I ultimately play the part and do not do well. And just so you know, panicking in the ocean is pretty much the worst thing you can do. (You know, on account of the possibility of drowning and all.)

But the key here is to listen to what your inner monologue is saying and see how often it speaks
to you negatively. Think about how often you question yourself in your head or say that you can’t do something (lose weight, win Powerball, move to a chalet in the Swiss Alps – not necessarily in that order). And then reverse the cycle by finding the positive, by highlighting your strengths in your mind instead of your weaknesses, and by using positive words in your mind. Write them down. Say them.

And then rinse and repeat.

Because 2010 is here. It’s a nice, fresh, new beginning, and a time to think about what you want to take with you from 2009 and what you want to leave in 2009 (like perhaps, a certain embarrassing skivvies situation).

What we are each capable of is entirely up to us and it all starts with our thoughts.

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Goals vs Resolutions

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It’s January again, which means that everyone is talking about making New Year’s resolutions. Some of the most common resolutions are to lose weight, stop smoking, and make more money. While there’s lots of talk about achieving these goals, there’s less talk about how or what’s important about achieving them.

In my opinion, using the term resolution has a negative connotation since many of us abandon our New Year’s resolutions by February anyhow. I refer to my resolutions as goals, but I also take it one step further and redefine what that means.

Redefining Goals: What’s Really Important?
Ask yourself this question: What’s most important? Reaching the finish line or learning something from the journey?

Sometimes we get so caught up in the need to achieve our goals that we lose our focus or even ourselves along the way. Sure, being successful at something or being able to cross a goal off your list feels great, but sometimes what we learn from the process is more valuable. For instance, my goal of shedding those stubborn 15 pounds of leftover baby weight initially became a goal because I wanted to feel good about myself again. But as I’ve been working towards that, I’ve realized that even if I don’t get to that magic number, I’ve still achieved something. Becoming healthier and being a role model for my children, and even my husband, is equally, if not more important than looking great.

How Do We Achieve Our Goals?
The best way to achieve our goals is to start them when we feel motivated…NOW! Don’t wait until a future date to begin working towards something because the more we put something off, the less we feel motivated. And motivation is extremely important because it’s what keeps us focused on our goals. Without motivation, excuses start to creep in and before you know it, you’ve decided that your goals are no longer important.

Another key to achieving goals is to constantly reassess them. When you revisit your goals regularly, you may realize that you need to alter or make them more realistic. There’s nothing wrong with tweaking goals along the way, especially if it will help you achieve them.

You can read more of my thoughts about redefining resolutions on my blog,  The (Un)Experienced Mom.

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The Truth About Spinning Class

If you ask me what workout I prefer to do, the answer is hands down spinning. If you had asked me this same question 10 years ago, there is no way I would have given that answer. My mom started spinning when it first came out in the 90′s, and when I joined her for class one Saturday in high school, I walked away from it swearing I’d never go to one again! To me, it was such hard work that it almost felt like a form of torture. But for some reason while in college, I decided to give it another try…and I fell in love with it.

I decided to write about spinning because there seems to be such a stigma attached to it. When I tell people I am a spinner, I hear comments like, “Are you crazy?! Spinning is hard!” and “There’s no way you could get me to a spin class.” These were the very comments I used to make before I knew the truth about spinning. I recently talked with a friend of mine who is a Les Mills and Schwinn certified spin instructor and asked her to answer questions about the class. I will of course give you my thoughts on the topic, but also wanted to give you facts about this amazing workout.

1. What are your recommendations for people who are intimidated to get into spin? Should they just attend a class, or even 1/2 a class to see what it’s like? What kinds of expectations should they have for their first time?
My recommendation is to just do it. It seems intimidating with the dimmed lights and the intensity, but I always tell someone just to get through their first class and take it at their own level. A good instructor will ALWAYS give lower intensity options so that a participant can scale it back until they are ready. It is your workout and as an instructor, we are there to motivate and moderate a class. We cannot control how hard you actually workout.

2. How long do you think it takes the average person to learn to like spin?
The average person should see and feel a difference after 5 classes. I always tell participants not to give up after their first attempt as it always seems the toughest after the first class. Within 5 classes, I guarantee the participant will even see a difference in their fitness level. Just stick with it!

3. Why is spin such a great workout?
Spinning involves heart rate training. A good instructor will lead a class by bringing their heart rate up to 90% of their maximum and not allowing it to drop below 70%. What does this mean? Anaerobic exercise + ideal fat burning = success!

4. Do you have to be a super-athlete to do spin classes?
As mentioned before, a good instructor will give options to the participants. You do not have to be a super-athlete to do a spin class, but if you commit to the work out, you will make yourself into an elite athlete.

5. What about the myth that spin bulks up your calves?
This is a myth. Not even strength or mountain climb types of rides will “bulk” you up. And there is no such thing as spot training [training one area of your body]. If anything, a spin class gives you a full body workout: drop your heels and you get your hamstrings; load your quads by doing a standing attack or climb; in the saddle work will lean out your legs. You are burning up to 700 calories in one hour of training. You will definitely NOT bulk up!

6. Any other tips for women who want to get into spin but are reluctant or scared, or any info on spin in general?

  • If you intend on participating in more than 2 spin classes a week, take a yoga/stretch/pilates class as well. The reason is that our hip flexors tend to tighten and you may get some injuries.
  • Hydrate throughout your ride which will prevent cramping and lactic acid build up in your legs.
  • Eat protein 30 minutes post workout, which will help with muscle recovery.
  • Wear proper attire; loose clothing is not recommended on a bike. If you intend on doing more than 2 classes per week, invest in bike shorts with padding and spin shoes. Spin shoes make all the difference in your workout and you will definitely feel the difference in your ride.
  • It’s a great prenatal and postnatal workout; ask your instructor for modified moves.
  • You can train your heart to work for you. Get a heart rate monitor. It’s a great investment (used not only for spin but for all activities – weights, aerobic classes, running).
  • Clear your mind! Focus on the ride and your goals. Every breath you take, you’re getting in shape, so just breathe.
I absolutely love spinning. When I am on the bike, I feel more relaxed than I do all week and at times can even zone out completely. It energizes me, pushes me to reach my highest potential, and still manages to challenge me to give that little bit extra I didn’t think I had left to give. After my first son was born, spin helped me lose those annoying 15 extra pounds very quickly while reshaping my body at the same time. If I could find the time to spin more than 2x/week, I would because it’s beneficial not only for my body, but also my mind and spirit.
Obviously not everyone will enjoy spinning, but for those of you who would like to try it, I hope this article has helped inspire you to attend a class. Yes, it’s hard work. Yes, you can feel intimidated by all of the spinning terminology and positions used on the bike. But my advice is to introduce yourself to the instructor when you walk into the class so that they can help you acclimate yourself to spinning slowly and comfortably. Take it at your own pace and don’t feel you have to compete with the more experienced participants; this will only leave you disappointed and convinced spinning is too hard. Even if you stay in the saddle (i.e. on the seat) the entire ride, you’re one step closer to becoming a spinner. And besides, who ever said exercise should be easy?
I would love to hear your thoughts on or experiences with spinning!
And don’t forget to stop by my blog, The (Un)Experienced Mom, to read more of my musings on motherhood and life.
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Defining Moments

869211_swimmerScenario one: You don’t have time to work out.

Scenario two: You miraculously find the time. But you have no energy whatsoever. Because let’s face it, you’re being pulled in a thousand directions between your kids, sick husband, extended family visiting, the shopping, the cooking, the baking, the sewing blankets until 1 in the morning only to get up at 5:30 in the morning to stand in line at Toys R Us for a Zhu Zhu Pet. (Oh wait. That last part was me?)

So what’s a supermom or superdad to do?

Make the time. Go anyway. Because there are defining moments in your life just waiting to be had.

For me, some of the best workouts are the ones I didn’t even want to do in the first place. The ones I wasn’t in the mood for. The ones that I may or may not have worn two different sneakers to by accident. (Yes, I’ve done it. I almost left the gym when I realized the embarrassment of having two different shoes on, but I stayed anyway and had an incredible workout. I knew my feet felt funny in the car for some reason!)

Last week, I needed to swim. I am doing a triathlon in the spring and even though my “training” hasn’t officially begun yet, I still have to get in my workouts. But I had a raging headache. I was tired. I was so NOT in the mood.

I got into the locker room, I put on my bathing suit, wrapped my towel around me, grabbed my cap and goggles and schlepped out to the pool.

I sat on the poolside with my feet in the water for about 20 minutes. Just staring off into space. I wanted to decompress for a minute. I wanted to will my headache away.

I was alone. I watched the jets push water up and swirl around the surface of the pool and I watched the reflection of the trees outside the window dance on top of the water.

I breathed deeply. I kicked my feet around a little, letting my feet get used to the temperature.

One of the trainers walked in through the pool area twice. I must have looked silly staring off into space but I didn’t care. I was in my own head.

For a few minutes I began to think about the length of the pool and how many lengths of it would take me the distance in the ocean that I would eventually be traveling.

I pictured myself and then I pictured lining up each lap into one long straight line. Dozens of pools one after another.

I pictured myself a few months ago struggling just to swim a few laps. Now I can swim at least 30 and feel like I can keep going.

I emptied my mind, put on my cap and goggles and got into the water and began to swim. My head felt better. I was calm.

A few laps in, that fire started to grow. My strokes got longer and faster, and my breathing changed. Up until then, I was normally breathing out under water gradually. Instead, I spent a few laps completely clearing my lungs under water and making room for even more air when I came up for a breath and my swimming got faster.

I was starting to build momentum and it was becoming a pain to have to stop at the lap and turn around. I began to get excited at the thought of building momentum on the swim, because that meant I would be able to swim in the open water faster than I would with all these stops. I could feel my body pushing through the water with momentum, with actual force behind me while my arms pulled me through the water. For the first time ever, I felt the energy of my body’s physics.

And to think, I almost poo-pooed this workout. I almost scrapped it on account of my day, my head and my body.

I did it anyway and it ended up being a “breakthrough” workout. One where I completely changed how I did things and made myself better.

The journey through healthy living and weight-loss is full of breakthroughs and defining moments. And for me, this was  just one of them. No, not every workout will carry a defining moment. But if you don’t go, you’ll never know what you missed.

The workouts I scrap? I now wonder what could have been.

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Lunch Box Do’s and Don’t




By Nancy Kalish for Your Family Today

A lunch box filled with fun, healthy food not only makes kids happy: It also helps them perform better academically. But if you’re not careful, you could be packing food poisoning along with that tuna sandwich, says Bethany Thayer, a registered dietitian, spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association and mother of two. Follow these simple rules to make sure your child’s lunch box makes the grade:

Don’t start with a dirty lunch box “Even a small food spill can be a bacteria magnet,” says Thayer. So give the lunch box a good scrub with hot, soapy water and dry it thoroughly. A little baking soda can get rid of any lingering food odors in lunch boxes or insulated bottles. In addition, stash a small bottle of hand sanitizer in the lunch box so kids can clean their hands before eating.

Do think before you pack Whenever possible, pick foods that have little chance of spoiling. Good choices include crackers; uncut fresh, dried or canned fruit in juice; whole veggies; hard cheeses; canned meat and fish; and individual puddings with pop-top lids. Many kids crave prepackaged lunches with individual compartments, but Thayer says these meal choices tend to be high in salt and fat. Instead, she suggests making your own healthier version. “In a reusable container with separate compartments, pack whole-grain crackers, squares of cheese and/or turkey, and a little treat.” Hard-boiled eggs, tuna salad or yogurt are also healthy options, says Thayer — but only if they can be kept cold in the fridge or with an ice pack (see below) until eaten. The best choice of all: PB&J — it’s nonperishable, nutritious and a perennial kid fave.

Don’t forget to chill Place all lunch ingredients and the lunch box itself — a soft-sided, insulated one is best — in the fridge the night before. “The cooler the food starts out, the cooler it will stay,” says Thayer. Pre-chill an insulated bottle with ice water before filling with juice or another beverage. Believe it or not, you can also freeze a sandwich made from peanut butter, cheese or meat the night before. (Don’t try this with fillings made with mayonnaise, eggs, lettuce, tomatoes or other raw veggies.) You can even make a whole week’s worth of sandwiches ahead of time and stick them in the freezer. Your child’s sandwich will keep the rest of the food cool and thaw by lunchtime. Alternatively, throw in a frozen juice box or water bottle, which will act as an ice pack. You might even consider sandwiching the sandwich between a frozen juice box and an ice pack. Keep several in the freezer so they’re always ready.

Don’t let hot foods get cool To avoid food poisoning, soups and other hot foods should still be at 140 degrees when served. Thayer suggests you fill an insulated stainless steel container made for hot foods with extremely hot water, let it sit for a few minutes, spill out and immediately fill with hot food. Then keep the container tightly closed until lunchtime.

Do tell kids to toss it If you’re packing perishables, make sure your child knows that if the food isn’t cold when he opens his lunchbox, he shouldn’t eat it, says Thayer. In addition, direct him to throw out all leftovers when lunch is over: You don’t want your child eating a spoiled sandwich on the bus home. And no matter how tempted you are to economize, never reuse any foil, plastic wrap, or paper and plastic bags, which could be contaminated with dangerous bacteria.

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Bag Some Biceps

No time to exercise? That excuse is gone forever with SqueezeItIn.com – the website that teaches you to “let life be your workout!” cardio-2Founders Jenny Hein and Brigette Polmar are trying to change the way you think about fitness and challenging you to Squeeze It In with clever and effective exercises you can fit into your daily routine. We’ll be posting regular tips from SqueezeItIn.com, like this one that will have you looking forward to putting away the dishes.

From Jenny & Brigette – The SqueezeItIn.com Girls:

This exercise is so easy, effective, and popular, we made it our logo! Why stop to lift weights when you’re already lifting groceries? This multitasker puts great arms in the bag!

Bag Some Biceps - Lowered

Holding one grocery bag in each hand (choose bags that are roughly of equal weight and aren’t too heavy, approximately 5 – 10 pounds each to start) begin with arms down at your sides and palms facing upward grasping the handles.  Bend elbows and lifts bags to your shoulders, while keeping elbows tightly to your sides.  Slowly return to the starting position.  Lift both bags at once or alternate, lifting one bag at a time.  Continue for two sets of twelve.

VARIATIONS:
Lower Slower: Lift bags as above, but lower bags SLOWLY to a 3-count of SQUEEZE-IT-IN.

Partial Curl: (See photo.) Start with arms at your sides and raise bags only halfway until arms are bent at a 90-degree angle. Slowly lower back to starting position.

Bag Some Biceps - PartialBag Some Biceps - RaisedHammer Curls:  Change hand position and hold bags with palms facing inward as if holding a hammer.  Raise and lower bags with palms facing inward and thumbs pointing at shoulders.

cardio-2Cardio: Every good workout must include cardio. Click here to see examples of our easy, do-anywhere cardio moves.

Visit SqueezeItIn.com every week for new exercise videos and nutrition tips.
Just Released: The SqueezeItIn.com Workout DVD, featuring an exclusive 30-minute workout a
long with dozens of SqueezeItIn.com moves you can use throughout your busy day.
Jenny Hein and Brigette Polmar co-founded SqueezeItIn.com as a wellness solution to help busy people find time to exercise, improve their lives, and “let life be their workout!”

Please Note: You should consult your physician before starting this or any exercise program.

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Enjoying A Family Dinner

tableSitting down to a dinner with the entire family is a great way to stay connected with your children (and also a way for siblings to keep in touch with each other). There are a few strategies that I follow with my three children to keep things fun and stress free:

Stop the short order cook syndrome. It might have been easy to acquiesce to a picky eater with one child, but once they get older or you add more kids to the mix, you are setting yourself up for many an evening spent on too much preparing and not enough enjoying dinner. Make one dinner (maybe allow for slight variations like a red and a white sauce served with the pasta) and serve it all at once to all family members. Everyone may not like everything, but they can just eat more of a different course to fill up.

Keep it positive. We used to do the ‘Best/Worst’ game where we all said the best and worst parts of our day, but I found that we spend a lot of time complaining and not focusing on the positive. Who wants to sit around the dinner table and listen to how awful everyone’s day was? Not me.

Get some conversation starters.
There are many different variations like cards or books, but the premise is to ask an interesting question which will get conversation flowing. We have a variety of these in our house and our daughters love them, we actually end up at the table long after dinner ends once we bring them out. There are a variety of question you can find online as well just by searching for ‘Family Conversation Starters’. There is a great document here.

If it is entirely impossible to eat dinner as a family due to activities/work/school functions, then gather everyone to eat breakfast together.

It is proven that children who eat together as a family eat healthier, are less likely to be overweight, less likely to use drugs and alcohol and do better in school. It is just a great habit to start now that will keep your family close and create memories to last a lifetime.

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The Facts About Fat




By Nancy Gottesman for Live Right Live Well

Let’s face it, fat can be confusing. For years, experts have told us that fat is bad, and we must avoid it if we want to live long and healthy lives. Then, researchers discovered this isn’t exactly true. Since then, many of us have either overindulged in unhealthy fats (or bad carbs) and found ourselves among the 66 percent of U.S. adults who are overweight, or we continue to eschew all fat in the mistaken belief that a low-fat diet is the secret to a thinner, healthier you. But the old adage “‘The less [fat] you eat the better’ is just not true,” says Karen Collins, a clinical dietitian and nutrition adviser to the American Institute for Cancer Research in Washington, D.C.

Here’s what is true: Fat is an integral nutrient in your diet. It provides energy and essential fatty acids and helps your body absorb vitamins A, D, E, K and carotenoids. But all fats are not created equal. Some are beneficial to your health, others are not, and all are high in calories, so moderation is still key.

The Good Fats
Healthy fats — aka unsaturated fats — can lower your risk of heart disease by decreasing your levels of “bad” LDL cholesterol, explains Dawn Jackson Blatner, a registered dietitian and spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association. “They may even raise your ‘good’ HDL cholesterol,” she says.

Why is one cholesterol good and the other bad? LDL (or low-density lipoproteins) carry cholesterol from your liver to the rest of your body. If you have too much LDL cholesterol, it gets deposited in your artery walls, where it can increase your risk of angina (chest pain), heart attack or stroke — hence its bad moniker. HDL (or high-density lipoproteins), on the other hand, carry cholesterol from the blood back to the liver, which helps eliminate it, thus, high levels of HDL is a good thing.

When choosing fats, unsaturated is the healthy way to go. These include:

  • Monounsaturated fat, which remains liquid at room temperature. Best sources are olives, olive oil, canola oil, peanut oil, sunflower seeds, avocados, cashews, almonds, peanuts and most other nuts.
  • Polyunsaturated fat, which is also liquid at room temperature and is found in safflower, corn, sunflower and soy oils.
  • Omega-3 fatty acids, which are polyunsaturated fats found mainly in seafood. Great sources are fatty, cold-water fish, like salmon, herring, mackerel, anchovies and sardines.

The Bad Fats

While good fats boost heart health, unhealthy fats — that is, saturated and trans fats — “increase bad [LDL] cholesterol levels and [raise] our risk for heart disease, the number one killer of men and women,” explains Blatner. Here’s where bad fats lurk:

  • Saturated fat, which is generally solid at room temperature, is most often found in animal products, like whole milk, ice cream, butter, cheese and red meat, plus a few plant products, such as coconut and palm oils.
  • Trans fats are the really bad fats. Not only do they increase LDL, but they decrease HDL and raise triglycerides, a type of fat in your bloodstream. Trans fats are made by adding hydrogen to vegetable oils in order to produce a solid fat that stays fresh longer on grocery store shelves. You will find them in many margarines, vegetable shortenings, fried foods (like doughnuts and french fries) and commercially baked goods, such as crackers, cookies, cakes and chips. The best way to tell if a food has trans fats is to read the ingredient list. If you see the word “hydrogenated,” the product contains trans fats. Nutrition labels will also report trans fats, but if a product has less than 0.5 grams per serving, it will read as 0 grams. Finally, when eating out, keep in mind that many restaurants use trans fats for frying.

The Bottom Line
The USDA recommends that you consume between 20 and 35 percent of your calories from fat, most of which should come from unsaturated fat sources. Saturated fats should be limited to 10 percent of total calories, and you should try to avoid trans fats completely. In other words, most 30-year-old women need around 2,000 calories a day. This adds up to between 44 and 78 grams of fat, no more than 20 of which should come from saturated fat. So go ahead and enjoy your meal. When you choose fats wisely, you can have your cake and eat it, too!

Nancy Gottesman was a senior editor at Shape magazine for 11 years. Since going freelance, she’s been writing health and nutrition stories for publications such as O: The Oprah Magazine, Parents, Women’s Health, Fit Pregnancy, Viv and Family Circle.

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The Power of a Smile

1207721_happyThis weekend my mother and I went to afternoon tea.

We skipped the holiday hustle and bustle and we went to a little tea room that made us feel as if we were a world away. It was painted on the inside as an English garden, complete with sky, clouds, and a gazebo where my mother and I sat. We had a nice view of a painted pasture. All we needed was a little wind and maybe a bird and we would have, indeed, thought we were outside.

For a couple of hours, we reconnected. We did what we do best: we talked. And talked. And we talked some more. And we took down two pots of Cherry Caramel tea.

We closed the place down.

The owners, who were a mother and a daughter just a little older than us, began to clean up. The daughter waited on us and I hadn’t seen her mother until she came out and started to take the linens off the tables.

She was a short, petite woman with shoulder-length brown, wavy hair. Her face was drawn and hardened and with her olive skin, appeared statuesque. At first, she intimidated me. She didn’t look happy as she went about her work, clearing tables and folding linens, and I found myself sitting at my table watching her, wishing I knew what her day was like.

My mother and I have always dreamed of owning a tea room together, of coming in early in the morning and turning on the radio in the kitchen, singing and dancing while we baked away and talked about new recipes and what my crazy toddlers were up to. I envied this woman for making our dream come true with her daughter.

I continued to watch her going from table to table with a stoic expression and then she turned toward me and our eyes met.

She smiled at me as if she recognized me even though I knew she really didn’t and I smiled back.

What struck me most was how, with one smile, her entire face had changed. She had softened. With one smile, she was unlike anything I had thought while I watched her work. With one smile, her entire personality on the outside was entirely transformed. With one smile, my perception of her had changed, and so too, had the mood of the room. It was no longer cold and intimidating. It, like her face, became soft and welcoming and comfortable. I felt ashamed for thinking what I had thought about her and I was so pleasantly surprised inside to see such a wonderful, glowing, happy mother smiling back at me. She told me her entire life’s story with just one smile.

How interesting that an entire climate could change with one smile. How the outcome of an entire experience or entire day can change with just one smile.

How one little tiny expression can say so much.

How often we go about our day to day, stuck in our own minds, our own worlds, our own agendas, without acknowledging the people around us all doing the same. Serious, solemn expressions and looks of concern on the outside, which may not even be what’s going on in the inside at all!

There is just something wonderful about a smile. How it literally, physically, softens someone’s face and makes it just so beautiful. How it can take years off a person’s face and how layers of troubles and worry and concern can just melt away with a smile. How a smile can make a person who seems so unapproachable and “Closed for Business”, so open.

I realized from her smile that I forget to do it myself. All the time. Especially during the holiday season when I’m supposed to be the cheeriest, and instead I find myself stuck in the house with two sick children, behind in my cleaning, shopping, exercising and everything else in my life and so overwhelmed that I don’t even remember, let alone make the time, to smile.

One simple little gesture that can lift the moods of my children, my husband, even the sales clerk who refuses to double check a price for me. And more importantly, myself.

Even if, like me, you can’t keep up with the holidays, you worry about being able to afford all the gifts and the bills, you worry about the health of your families and you find yourself overwhelmed, try to remember to do one small thing. Smile. It doesn’t cost a thing and for even just a moment, a smile makes everything okay. It can change someone’s day, someone’s week, or someone’s life. Maybe even your own. And it’s so worth it.

For the first time this weekend, I was lucky enough to witness it. The power of just one smile.

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