Nurture. As parents, when we think of the term “nurture”, it evokes a great sense of responsibility. We take our role as parents very seriously but, ironically, many of us stop short of nurturing the most important piece of our children’s growth. Ourselves.

For some parents, the question, “How do you nurture yourself?”, evokes feelings of guilt. There seems to be a disconnect in our minds between what it means to be a good parent and what it means to take care of ourselves. The fact is, a parent who takes time to nurture their own well-being not only has more to give, but sets the tone and example for how their children, and the family as a whole, will take care of themselves.

Are you nurturing your own sense of well-being? Or, are you so frazzled you have absolutely no idea where you would begin?

To help you get started, I’ve listed five simple things I do to nurture myself:

1. Schedule An Appointment with Yourself

Exercise is the most important piece of my sanity. The other day I was bemoaning a week’s worth of missed morning runs and yoga classes because of my crazy schedule.  When my husband asked why I didn’t just put a recurring appointment in my calendar, it occurred to me that if I schedule an appointment with myself each day, I would have to justify rescheduling or canceling it. Now when I look at my calendar I can decide where the priority is and, if I need to, I can reschedule my appointment with myself! Either way, that appointment is important and it deserves a place on my daily calendar.

2. Invest in A Really Great Water Bottle

A large percentage of the human body is made up of water, so it only makes sense that drinking water isn’t just good for you, but can make you feel pretty darn good. It might seem silly, but I have found that if I really like a water bottle I am more likely to keep it full and with me throughout the day. When you buy a water bottle consider things like the size, shape, and how the spout works.

3. Buy Fresh Flowers Once A week

I have to admit, my Scottish upbringing made this a hard one for me at first. On the surface, buying fresh cut flowers that will eventually die seems wasteful, but flowers make me smile. People who smile are happier and there is even a study that proves flowers can improve your emotional health. Whenever possible I buy the Star Gazer Lillies, their fragrance is so powerful that I can smell them the minute I walk in the door to my house, and that makes me smile…

4. Make Your Bed

It’s the simple things that impact us the most. No matter how chaotic the day gets, if you make your bed you have at least accomplished something! For whatever reason, I feel a sense of calm when the beds are made. In our house, breakfast is only served to those who have made their bed and have their shoes on.  For some people a clean sink, a clear desktop, or an orderly closet might take the place of a made bed. Whatever works for you, be consistent!

5. Always Have A Goal or Future Plan

Happiness. A sense of purpose. Motivation. Positivity. All of these things are bolstered when you have something to look forward to. Whether it is a fitness goal, a professional goal, or a planned vacation, make sure that you always have something to look forward to.

How do you nurture yourself?

This article was first published as Responsible Parents Model Healthy Self Care on Technorati.com

Last week, I wrote about my need to find balance again in life. This week’s post will focus on how to achieve that.

Once I realized that things were out of control, I began making an action plan to regain it. But in order to create this plan, I had to better understand what needed to change. Here are a list of questions I found helpful that you may consider asking yourself:

Children:
When you spend time with your kids, is it truly quality time? Are you there physically, but somewhere else mentally? By establishing special play times when you can give them your full attention, this might help them feel like they are being paid attention to instead of being in the way.  Our kids are very good at knowing when we want to spend time with them versus when we have to spend time with them. If you are a stay-at-home mom, do you find that you feel like being with the kids all day is a drag sometimes? Try and remind yourself why you became a mother and encourage yourself not to get swept up in the stresses.

Spouse/Significant Other
Do you set a standard date night at least once a month? Is there one night a week to truly catch up, spend time together, and enjoy each other’s company? Do you take a second once in awhile to remember just why you married him/her? All of these things get easily pushed aside and instantly have an effect on your relationship. The truth is that this relationship is the most important to maintain/nourish because it sets the tone for the family and an example for your kids.

Work
Do you bring your outside work home with you? Do you let your work-at-home tasks take over your mind, making you unable to do much else when you’re in the house? Do you try to multi-task all the time, therefore keeping you from doing any one thing well? If you’re like me, you find yourself trying to get work (in my case, blogging) done on and off all day long. Unfortunately, this is the first thing that throws my life out of balance because it spills over onto so many other important tasks, such as spending time with family.  Try and create a specific time for work tasks and stick to it.

Mommy Time
Do you carve out at least an hour or two a week to exercise, de-stress, or meditate? Do you have hobbies that encourage relaxation or fun outside of the family? Are you desperate to create time that is spent focusing only on you? What other tasks during the week can be moved down on the list in order to make this happen? We need to remember that even though everything else feels more important, if we aren’t feeling whole, this will negatively effect every other area of the family/life.

Action Plan
Use the above questions to brainstorm what needs to change in order to regain balance. By exploring them, you may find things are not as chaotic as you thought or you may realize that an action plan is way overdue. If it’s helpful, write your action plan out with specific steps on how you are going achieve these changes. Set a realistic timeframe and reassess often.

And once you’ve achieved balance in life again, look back and acknowledge all of the hard work you’ve done to get there!

You can read more of my thoughts on balancing motherhood and other random ramblings at The (Un)Experienced Mom.

I’ve recently noticed that my life has become unbalanced and I desperately need to regain it. The good thing is that I am pretty sure that I am not alone in this thought. The bad thing is that there is no equation that tells us exactly how to achieve balance. This two-part series will touch on what we need to consider and how we can find our way back to a better-balanced lifestyle.

What are the areas in life we need to balance?

Children
Being a mom means being “on” 100% of the time. Even if we aren’t physically with the kids, we are with them mentally, so it’s no wonder we are exhausted much of the time. And it’s no wonder that we find it hard to fit much else in. Especially when you are a stay-at-home mom, you start to feel like all you ever do is spend time with your kids. So how do we find time for our kids without ignoring the time we need for our own wants and needs?

Spouses/Significant Other
This relationship is the first to become unbalanced. Since the children need so much of our attention and time, that tends to eat into the time we used to set aside for our spouse. Evening cuddle time turns into “Since we’re so tired, let’s just go to bed” or, if you still have little kids, “I’ll see you after I feed the baby and put him to sleep” (by which time, you’re both too tired anyhow). So how do we put this relationship higher on our priority list when there are so many things already so high on the list?

Work
Whether this is working outside or inside of the home, or working on your hobby, blogging, this is one of the toughest areas to find time for. Since I started blogging, I have found that it can take up a lot of time. And with only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week, the time I set aside for blogging often overlaps other tasks. Unfortunately, if our work is at home, it’s very hard to balance spending time with kids and actually achieving something work-related. If you’re like me, you find yourself working on things in 5-minute increments, which means it takes forever to finish something. So how do we carve out time to be productive, even if we only have short periods of time in which to work?

Mommy Time
This is the thing that often gets pushed to the very bottom of the list; so far down that you have to squint to see it. However, many moms claim that if they get a little bit of personal time weekly, they are much happier moms, which in turn means for a happier family. Whether it’s working out, spending time with friends, reading a book, or something else you enjoy, finding our own personal time needs to be more of a priority. So how do we find even a small chunk of time for this when we are already overscheduled in our lives?

The 2nd part in this series will look at what questions we need to ask ourselves in order to create an action plan to get back to a balanced life.

You can find more of my thoughts on the difficult task of balancing motherhood at my blog, The (Un)Experienced Mom.

Ok, so that’s a gross exaggeration, but motherhood is definitely a tough job. It has the ability to make you a stronger person, both physically and mentally, but can be a bumpy ride along the way.

Let’s think about it. You get pregnant and endure enormous physical changes such as shifting organs and expanding skin. Then you go through labor, which is so painful it often requires you to numb your body just to get through it, no matter whether you’re pushing or the baby exits through the “trap door.”  Then there’s the emotional roller coaster otherwise known as the regulation of hormones, which isn’t so much hazardous to us as it is to our husbands! Next we have to learn to carry around a child that is getting bigger and heavier by the day (and sometimes seemingly by the hour). In addition to carrying the baby, we have to lug around heavy baby gear, such as car seats, strollers, and diaper bags filled to the brink. (I swear baby product manufacturers are making these products heavier every year, too). And for many of us, just when our body has gotten through that exhausting cycle, we start the cycle over again with another pregnancy! Therefore our body never seems to get a break or at least not for a good few years.

What prompted me to write this post was my visit to the doctor last month as my neck and shoulders had been aching and sore for a couple of weeks. While much of the cause is the cumulation of stress from the past 12 months (i.e. ovarian surgery while pregnant, pregnancy, and a postpartum depression episode), the physical stresses on the body that I just mentioned only exacerbated the problem. One painful back adjustment and deep tissue massage later and I am on my way back to having a body that doesn’t feel like it’s 90 years old. And while I know having a 2 year old and 3 month old will continue to require me to subject my body to more physical stress, it’s nothing that another 4-5 more adjustments can’t fix I guess!

This mother job not only requires the patience of a saint and mental capacity of a Mensa member, but it also apparently requires the physical strength of an Iron Man participant. Honestly, some days I feel like I don’t have any of those strengths, let alone all three. Being a mother taxes both your body and mind, but if the saying is true, then what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, right?

This time of the year, many people spend a lot of time traveling on road trips to see extended family. I know from my own experience that traveling can really throw a monkey wrench into a family’s healthy eating habits. I implement a few simple ideas in our household which helps to keep us away from junk and fast food as well as keeping the anxiety of traveling with children to a minimum.

Get small insulated cooler to travel with. I have a small, soft sided cooler similar to this that I keep right next to me in the front seat. That way I can easily access a snack when little tummies begin to rumble. It is also a great idea to invest in a water bottle for each child to carry a healthy drink along. Our girls’ drink of choice is milk, so I also choose insulated water bottles to keep the milk fresh for a couple of hours.

Pack a selection of snacks for the children to choose from. We pack a variety of healthy food:

Cut vegetables (carrots, cucumbers, celery, etc.)
Small bowl of a dip (hummus work great as it is thick enough not to spill in the car.)
Small cut up sandwiches (can be peanut butter, ham & cheese or some other favorite) It is a good idea to cut into quarters to make easy for little fingers to handle.
Wraps work well for this too. Make some roll ups and cut into child sized pieces.
Granola bars.
Fruit: grapes, apples, orange slices (pre-peel to save a mess in the car).
Crackers, rice cakes, popcorn, pretzels, etc.
Cut cheese

I try to avoid any snack that takes a spoon (yogurt, applesauce, etc) or that might be messy or crumby (muffins, etc.) However, if you will be eating in the car, make sure to keep a large tub of wipes handy for cleanup.

Prepare and pack the cooler a day or 2 ahead of time. All of the foods I listed can be assembled a day ahead to alleviate stress on the actual day of the trip. And, if your children are anything like ours, you will want to make enough of each snack for each child, since what one wants- all others will too.

These tips really aid us in keeping the peace during our long road trips and also keeping us out of convenience stores and fast food restaurants. There are many studies linking convenience store foods to the pediatric obesity epidemic and we all know the downfalls of eating calorie and fat laden fast food. Most people are already lax on their nutrition during the holidays with snacks and desserts, so following these tips will help keep some semblance of a wholesome diet while on the road.

Help us celebrate the re-launch of MomActive!  We’ll be hosting a twitter party on Wednesday December 9th from 7-9pm.  Our discussions on “modeling healthy behavior for our children” will include sponsored giveaways from Chefs Requested, EA Sports, Squeezeitin.com, Born Fit, and Earth Footwear.

Be sure to RSVP with your TWITTER USERNAME on the Mr. Linky and be present to win some great prizes!

CUSTOM TWEETGRID NOW AVAILABLE!!

Click HERE!

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Pregnant? Or planning on getting pregnant soon?

If so, there are 5 health and body musts that you should put into practice now!  Why? Because the key is to be proactive, which often times is A LOT easier than being reactive, especially when we’re talking about matters of the body.  Of course, every woman’s health and body varies, so the same practice won’t always yield the same results, but a little effort can still go a long way.

Below are the 5 things you should do for your health and body before getting pregnant.  It’s also important to continue most of these suggestions even after child birth, as healthy practices will continue to make you look and feel better.

1.)    Establish and maintain good fertility and pre-baby health. What does that mean? To sum up…No smoking, drinking, drugs, prescription drugs (unless advised by doc), stress, herbs, caffeine, artificial sweeteners, hazardous chemicals.  Also maintain healthy body weight, good nutrition and regular doctor appointments.  For a great article and detailed list on this, go to American Pregnancy Association.

2.)    Start a Nutritious Diet. Blah, blah, blah…we all know this one but yet many of us fall short anyway. Why? Well, that’s for another time and another post.  Here we’re only addressing the what. So what is a pre-preggers nutritious diet?  Prenatal vitamins, folic acid, vitamin C, dark leafy greens (ie-spinach) orange veggies (ie-squash, apricots), legumes (beans), proteins, whole grains (oatmeal), calcium (yogurt) and iron (meat, veggies).  And stop eating all that fast food! (do you really need a reason?).  If you want to learn more about nutritious foods in greater detail, read this informative article at American Pregnancy Association.

3.)    Cardio 3x per week. This can be low impact like walking if you’re just starting out…you don’t have to run marathons to get into shape.  Some good cardio exercises include running, brisk walking (walking your dog), dancing (belly dancing & strip tease are popular and good for the bod), jumping rope, mini trampoline (supposed to be better than running) and weighted hula hoop (awesome for the mid-section).  You should do cardio at least 30 minutes, 3x per week.  Remember-ALWAYS consult with your doctor before beginning a cardio routine.

4.)    Tone your Transverse Abdominals. This one is VERY important before getting pregnant!  To quote from Pregnancyinfo.net, your transverse abdominals, “are the deepest lying abdominal muscles that basically act as a girdle to your entire middle section.” Working these babies are the key to a flatter tummy.  Strengthening these muscles will help with labor and regaining your pre-baby belly.  If you want specific exercises to work your Transverse abdominal muscles, visit this article at Pregnancyinfo.net.

5.)    DO YOUR KEGELS!!! I saved the best for last with this one.  Stop snickering…you won’t be later.  Kegel exercises, named after a doctor in the 1940’s, are exercises that work your pelvic floor muscles, affecting your bladder, uterus and rectum.  Most importantly though, they help squeeze “the area”, tighter.  You can certainly wait to do this after until after child birth, once everything has been stretched. Or you can do this now, and really get those muscles strong so that they bounce back faster. It’s really quite a simple exercise and can be done in your car, cubicle, while chattin’ on the phone, ect.  To learn how to do a Kegel exercise, click on Pregnancyinfo.net.

So put away that double espresso and double chocolate muffin from Starbucks (so good!), because you’re starting a new and exciting journey, and it’s gonna take some hard work and discipline…but surely will pay off in the end, ask any new mama.

And if you are newly expecting and looking to share some laughs and candid talk with someone in your shoes, check out this future mama!

* Please note that all diet and exercise suggestions in this article are directed to woman pre and post pregnancy. If you are pregnant, please consult with your doctor before trying any suggestions here.  This is not medical advice. So always consult with your doctor first.

The choice to stay home is not always an easy one to make.  Moms face a variety of concerns when determining what the best choice for their family is.  These issues weigh heavily on our minds and are worthy of discussion.  Let’s explore 5 of the most common reasons women say they can’t stay at home….

1. My household depends on both incomes.
It’s true. It probably does, these days. The cost of living has greatly increased since women have largely stopped being stay at home moms. Have you sat down, and looked at all of your expenses? If you really analyze it, you might see many areas that can be changed or cut out completely.
Do you really need premium cable? Seriously, non-cable television networks have really juiced it up…there’s no reason to pay for profanity or nudity anymore.
Downsize to one car, do your own gardening, get rid of that gym membership you haven’t used since the “Rachel” haircut was popular, stop eating out, etc. You get the idea here.

2. I need to work to keep the health insurance.
Well, if that’s the case, you have some options. Ask your hubby to talk with his boss or human resources department. Perhaps his plan can cover dependants, see what can be worked out. It never hurts to ask. If that’s not an option, look into individual health plans, more and more are becoming pretty affordable, and there are many options out there.
Take a look at the Health Insurance Resource Center , they offer comprehensive consumer info on health insurance for any state. If you’re pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant, check out the American Pregnancy Association for affordable healthcare.

3. I don’t have the resources or know-how to start a home business.
Yes you do. You just think you don’t. It really only takes drive, hard work and a little motivation, and maybe a good idea or two. There are so many profitable business ideas that require little to no start up costs.
What are your talents and or hobbies? Really think about it. We all have something that we can do, that others cannot. Are you creative? Start an Etsy business, sell on EBay, be a virtual assistant, dog-walker, party-planner, blogger…the list is infinite, just do a little research.

Or you can become a work-at-home-mom by convincing your boss that you are the be-all, end-all of your position and it would be in the best interest of the company if you did your magic…from home.

4. I worked hard to get where I am.
And? So what. Being the most important person ever, to the peeps in your home is sooo much more important and gratifying. Need I say more?

5. I Would Be Bored.
Oh right, like work isn’t a total yawn-fest most of the time. Let’s face it, life just isn’t that exciting all the time. I’m sure your kiddos wouldn’t find you boring, nor your hubby, when he walks through the door each night to a warm and happy home filled with love, because you make it that way.

You have a lot to think about, take the time to think it through and sit down with your spouse to figure it all out. Remember though, when you do what’s best for you and your family, everything else will work itself out.